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“He was chasing me, and I lost him when I took a sharp turn, but I knew. God, I knew. I turned around and saw his car all smashed up. I didn’t stop. I was going to, but someone else did, so I drove past. I left him there, and I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t even call 9-1-1. I just drove away.”
Every word she said hit me like a rubber bullet to the sternum.Bam-bam-bam. Knocking my breath away and making my heart pound.
I took her hand in mine, kissing the palm, then I pulled her until she was in my lap, turned to face me. I wanted to make sure she heard what I had to say. She had to understand.
“I had to work, so I came back to Savage River early after Thanksgiving. I couldn’t sleep, so I went for a late drive. It was raining, so it was going to be a short one.”
Elena went deathly still, but I kept going, telling her my version of that night.
“There was a white car on the opposite side of the road, crumpled into a boulder. I parked, called 9-1-1, and approached the vehicle. The window was down. Immediately, I realized the airbag hadn’t deployed. The driver was alive, but he was in a really bad way. I talked to him the whole time. Felt like hours but was probably ten minutes.”
The bedroom filled with the sounds of our breath. Mine calm and steady, steadier than I’d ever been. Answers to questions I’d had for two years gave me a peace I didn’t know I’d been seeking.
Elena’s breaths were rapid. Her eyes were wide, darting all over me. There was no peace there, but I could be the one to give it to her.
“I can’t believe you were the person who stopped. The man in the truck.” She started shaking, so I pulled her against my chest, gently stroking her hair. Slowly, her breathing evened out to match mine. Now, I could give her some of the peace she’d just given me.
“I used to be thankful I’d been there so he didn’t have to die alone.” It had been gruesome, brutal. Watching that kid die haunted me for a long time. Sometimes, I still had nightmares about his last gurgling breaths.
I touched my lips to her hair, inhaling her scent, which was mingled with mine now.
“I’m still thankful I was there, Ellie. But the reason has changed. Now, I’m thankful I was there to see him suffer.”
Her head tilted back so she could look at me. I touched her lips, her chin. She kissed my fingertip. “He really suffered?”
“Mmmhmm. His chest was crushed by the steering wheel, and he drowned in his own blood. It had to be horrific to go through. And he went with the knowledge that you saw him crash. You got to witness his demise. That piece of shit lost, Ellie baby, and he knew it.”
Her eyes were clear when they met mine. There were no tears there. She wasn’t breaking down, although it would be more than understandable.
“Promise you’re not traumatized?” she said.
“Damn, sweet girl, you don’t have to worry about me.” I pecked her nose. “It wasn’t a good night, but I got over it a long time ago, promise.”
I’d never tell her about the nightmares. That would go to my grave with me.
She kissed the side of my neck. “Thank you for telling me he suffered. I hope it hurt like hell and his last moments were spent being scared.”
“I think they were.”
Maybe it was twisted, dirty, bad, wrong, but when we eventually laid down to go to sleep, Elena snuggled against my chest, sighing contentedly, and I closed my eyes, peaceful with the knowledge that I’d watched my girl’s tormentor and rapist fade away to nothing. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing.
If that was wrong, I’d stay wrong for my sweet girl.
