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Jackie hadn’t known everything, but I felt she’d been as forthright as possible. Just like Mr. Sulaimani, I didn’t know if I’d see her the same after this.
After minutes of silence, Callum spoke. “Mr. Sulaimani had been savin’ money to pay for an immigration lawyer to help get his mom here from Yemen. He didn’t want shit to do with watchin’ over you for me until I offered to pay all the legal fees. She’s comin’ in the spring.”
I nodded in the dark, pinching my mouth tight to stave off more tears.
Wasn’t that just Callum to do something so good for an entirely selfish purpose? I wanted to be angry, and I was, but I couldn’t be mad at Mr. Sulaimani. Not when his precious mother was finally going to be able to come to America.
“Did he give you my college papers?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“I wanted more of your words.”
A knife to the gut. How did he do that? He made me ache for what we’d lost even while I was desperately angry at him.
“Couldn’t you have spoken to me? I would have given you words.”
His hold on me tightened to the point of suffocation, but I didn’t fight. This might’ve been the last time I allowed his arms around me, so I’d drown in him, just a little.
His cool lips touched the back of my neck. “You remember where you were three years ago? You’d shut me out of your life and were pregnant with another man’s baby. I didn’t think I’d be welcome to speak to you, and I’m sorry, Little Bird, but it took me a while not to want to roar when I saw your big, gorgeous belly.”
Another stab, right next to the first one. If the tables had been turned, I would have been devastated. I got that, I truly did. I understood why he hadn’t come forward then, butthreeyears had gone by and...nothing?
“Why didn’t you walk away?”
“Couldn’t. I should’ve, but you were mine. You were my little bird and I couldn’t walk away from you.” He nuzzled my nape. “Loved you then. Love you now. Always will. Your shadow found you, it just took you a while to know it.”
I jerked, pushing at his hand. “You werehidingfrom me.”
“I thought I’d be able to let you go. If I could see you livin’, happy, that would be enough.”
A third wound, to match the other two. I’d been disposable one too many times. The suggestion that I might’ve been to Callum was almost too much to bear.
“You were going to let me go?” Oh, I sounded pathetic now. Like a lost little girl. I hated myself for it, but I’d felt nothing but lost the entire day.
He kissed my neck again. “I don’t know why I ever thought that. I want you happy and livin’, but I need to be the source of that happiness, and I need to be livin’ right beside you.”
I couldn’t go there. If I took in his words, I’d break. The only thing holding me together was my simmering anger.
“You’ve been manipulating my life from behind the scenes this entire time.”
His forehead pressed against the back of my head. “I’ve been takin’ care of you.”
“You’re a liar.”
“Not a liar. I’m a lot of things, but not that. If you think back, I’ve never lied to you. Told you I was obsessed. Told you I was stalkin’ you. Told you I knew who you were. If you’d asked me when I’d figured it out, I would have told you the truth.”
“Did you pay my NICU bills?”
No hesitation. “Yes.”
I sucked in a breath. That was bigger than I could wrap my head around. “Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me. I’ll do anything for you.” He stroked my belly, slow and methodical. “Sometimes I thought about takin’ you. What it would be like to keep you for myself.”
“That’s crazy,” I rasped.
