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Tali
I leaned forward,getting closer to the mirror so I wouldn’t stab myself in the eye. Lines of symmetrical black circled my eyes. My tan from last summer had long since faded, so with my kohl-rimmed eyes and pale face, I was getting my goth on.
“I don’t get why you wear all that.”
Turning to where Ben had perched himself on the closed toilet to keep me company while I got ready, I rolled my eyes. “Because some of us have to make an effort. We can’t just roll out of bed looking beautifully disheveled.”
He cocked his head. “I’ve been waking up in the same house as you for nearly a year. I happen to know you wake up beautifully disheveled.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Flattery will get you nothing. I’m much too evolved to fall for that,” I said with faux haughtiness. “Also, what would you like for me to do for you?”
He waggled his eyebrows at me, giving me a lecherous look. I threw my eyeliner at him, pegging him right in the forehead.
“Down boy.”
He rubbed his forehead. “Damn, you’re mean, EG.”
Turning back to the mirror, I examined the job I’d done on my eyes. Tonight was a huge deal, and butterflies flung themselves wildly against the lining of my stomach.
Never Again was the opening act at the 9:30 Club, where Jude had worked as a bouncer, imagining himself up on that stage, but never believing he’d get there.
His album was pretty much complete, but the label wanted him in New York. He’d been gone for four months, and while we’d worked hard at our relationship, I was ready to have him home. Even if it was for a couple weeks before he went on the Swerve tour, I wanted him with me.
But tonight wasn’t about that. I had Jude all weekend. We’d talk tomorrow. Tonight, I got to go to the show of my favorite band, hang out with my friends, maybe have a few drinks, and go home with the lead singer. My groupie fantasy come to life.
I held out my wrist to Ben, my friendship bracelet dangling from my other hand. “Would you tie this on me?”
He stood, closing the little space between us, and took the bracelet from me. He palmed my hand, rubbing his thumb over my beaded bracelet I never took off, then my wrist before tying the threads of the friendship bracelet into a neat knot. His job was complete, but he didn’t let go.
He slipped a finger under the beads circling my wrist. “I made this.”
I started, jerking my hand away, but he held me tight. “What do you mean?”
His eyes flicked to mine. They were as blue as the day we met—the day Jude gave me this bracelet—but some of his liveliness had faded. I wondered if he saw the same when he looked at me. Had I changed? Sometimes, I felt faded around the edges.
“I mean, I made it at the camp I had worked at that summer. Did you really think Jude made it?”
My gaze lowered, landing on the place where his finger was still hooked under the elastic band and glow-in-the-dark beads. “I’m not sure why, but it never occurred to me to wonder. How did Jude get it?”
He lifted a lazy shoulder. “Don’t know. I had a dozen of these things I made with the kids. It never occurred tomeit might be important to someone else one day. I would’ve guarded it more closely. Maybe I would’ve given it to you myself.”
My gaze moved to meet his. “Things happened the way they were supposed to.”
His head tilted to the side. “Come on, Tali. I know you don’t believe in that fate shit. Things could have worked out entirely differently if I’d been the one to give you the bracelet. Or maybe if I’d been the one to ride home with you that night.”
“Maybe. But it doesn’t matter anymore, so there’s no use considering the what-ifs.”
Before I knew what he was doing, my wrist was at his lips, and he pressed a kiss to the skin just below my two bracelets.
“My life is a series of what-ifs,” he whispered against my wrist.
My heart stuttered. This wasBen, my friend, my roommate. He shouldn’t have been touching me like this. He shouldn’t have been kissing me, and he certainly shouldn’t have been looking at me like I was an option.
His hand moved up my arm to the back of my head, fingers weaving through my hair.
“Ben, don’t.”
“Haven’t you ever wondered? You can’t tell me you haven’t.”
