AllFreeNovel
Share Us
A lot of the fight left her. “It’s not the same thing and you know it,” she said with a quiver in her voice.
“It’s not, you’re right. I kept something from you that happened before we were together. You kept shit from me that happened while we were together.”
I hadn’t planned on bringing any of this up. It had stung, getting home and realizing events had gone down that Tali hadn’t clued me in on. It stung, but I let it go because I was so damn happy to be with her.
Or I’d thought I’d let it go. It kinda looked like I hadn’t.
“I didn’t fuck one of your friends and then willfully hide it,” she said, yanking her hands away. “I need some space.”
“You can be pissed at me, but don’t you dare pull away. We’ll work this out.” Gripping the hem of her shirt, I tugged her against me. “We don’t need space, Stripes. We need to be close.”
“How do I trust you, Jude?”
My hands went to her face, cupping it so she couldn’t turn away. I was desperate for her to hear me. “Because you know me, Tali. We’re almost a year into this thing, and I still only see you. I have a past that isn’t pretty, but I can’t even be ashamed, because it brought me to you.”
She averted her gaze, focusing on some spot on the floor. “I don’t want you to be ashamed, but I also don’t want this to keep happening.”
“Look at me, baby,” I growled, and she did. Her brown eyes shined under her blonde wig. “There’s nothing else. No one else. The second you told me I had a chance, I was yours in every way. Asking Laura not to tell you...that was selfish. I told myself I was protecting you so you wouldn’t feel weird or guilty, but that’s not even it. I wanted you, and I would have done a lot of stupid shit to get you.”
A shudder passed through her, and her forehead fell against mine. “I thought I was protecting you too. I didn’t want to take away from your tour by laying any of the drama that went down while you were gone on you.”
“No.” My hands slid down to her neck. “You can’t hide things from me. You’re mine, in the same way I’m yours. We’re in this fully or not at all. Are you in it, Stripes?”
Another shudder passed through her, followed by a soft sob. “Always, Jude.”
“No more protecting each other from bullshit when we should be holding each other through it.”
She poked my chest. “No more lies. Ever.”
“Fuck. Never, Stripes.”
A black tear trailed down her cheek. She swiped at it, but another followed. “Shit. I’m going to look like a raccoon.”
With my thumb, I wiped her tears and streaky makeup away. “It’s so punk rock.”
She let out a little hiccup of a laugh. “Am I doing Debbie Harry proud?”
“Hell yes.” I wrapped my arm around her waist, hauling her against me. “I love you. It kills me that I made you doubt that.”
“I have never doubted that for a second.”
I brushed my lips across hers, smearing her leftover red lipstick. “Good. ’Cause if you forget every damn thing, I always want you to remember that. It’s never not going to be true.”
“Never is a long time.”
I smeared her lipstick a little more. “Told you I want you wearing my ring and my name.”
Her breath hitched. “You were high. I would never hold you to that.”
“I don’t think you understand the depth of my devotion to you. This is a forever kind of thing.”
“Jude…” she sighed. “Take me home.”
Sometime around twoin the morning, I got restless. Tali had been asleep for a while, but my head was too wired for sleep. Moonlight poured in through the crack in her curtains, illuminating a line of her perfect, naked skin. She was on her stomach, wig abandoned, hair crazy, makeup smeared. Even now, she stunned me. Blew me the hell away. If I’d had a camera anywhere close by, I would have snapped a picture of her like this, just for myself. As it was, I drank in every detail, memorizing her freckles and scars.
When it was clear I wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon, I gave up the ghost and wandered down to Tino’s kitchen to make a sandwich, maybe grab a beer too, to mellow out.
I walked into the kitchen to find Ben and Tino at the counter sharing a giant platter of nachos.
