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I felt helpless. If I told him the truth, that he was being obstinate and getting in his own way, he’d hate me for it. I’d become one ofthem: the enemy. But if I didn’t speak up, he might sabotage this really huge chance.
“Jin said they’d suggested a songwriter to help you write a couple more songs. I didn’t realize they wanted someone to come in and take over.” There. That was as diplomatic as I could get while still attempting to rationalize with him.
Jude stopped moving to stare at me. His eyes narrowed as he licked his top lip. “Don’t treat me like I’m delicate. I want you to tell me what you really think.” He moved toward me, placing his hands on my crossed forearms. “If I’m being stupid, tell me.”
“You’re not being stupid, but I think you’re letting your emotions get away from you. This is yourfirstalbum, Jude. Yes, your artistic integrity is worth a lot, but at some point, you’ll have to bend. If you compromise on the songwriter, maybe you’ll get to have a say in who that songwriter is, you know?”
His eyebrows pulled into a tight line. “You think I can’t write my own music?”
I shook out of his hold and put my hands on my hips. “Is that really what you heard? Do you honestly believe I’m saying that?”
Some of the fight left him on a heavy sigh. He reached out, wrapping his arms around me. “No, baby. No, I don’t believe you’d say that. I’m just more frustrated than I’ve ever been in my life and I don’t know how it’s going to get better.”
I curled into him, silently willing some of my patience to seep into his body. “I don’t think you can keep fighting them, Jude.”
He laid his head down on my shoulder, like his load was too heavy to keep upright anymore. I hated this for him. Hated that the goal he’d been working toward was making him miserable.
“You think I should...compro—what was the word?” he asked.
Snorting a laugh, my arms tightened around him. “Compromise. It’s when you don’t get your way entirely.”
I felt his lips curve into a smile against my shoulder. “I don’t like the sound of that.”
“I know, it’s gross, but you gotta do what you gotta do, right?”
He lifted his head, pulling back to lock eyes with me. “You’re scary, you know that?”
I tilted my head, unsure what was so scary about me. “I wasn’t aware of that, no.”
His hand slid up my side to cradle my cheek. “You just handled me like a boss. I was all set to rip up my contract and destroy my career, and here you are, cooling my temperamental artist jets. You sure you can’t be my manager?”
Smiling, I wrapped my fingers around his wrist. “Never,” I whispered.
He nodded, finally smiling back at me. “Probably for the best. I don’t really want you to see me acting like an asshole all the time.”
“How about not acting like an asshole then?”
“That is definitely something I could try.”
Holding hands, we went back to the studio where things had calmed down. Jin and Jeremy were still on the couch, sharing a joint, and one of the producers was playing back the music they’d worked on this morning.
I liked it.
Jude cringed at the sound of it.
It had to be hard to let go. He’d worked on his music for years, and now it was being changed by people who had no emotional attachment to it. That waswhythey could change it, and in this case, make it better. They were able to see beyond the emotion and look at the product.
I couldn’t say that to Jude, though. He’d probably punch a hole in a wall if I called his art a product.
Instead of getting involved and stating my opinions, I picked up my marketing book and pretended to study. I did that until it was time for me to catch my train home. As much as I loved Jude, I wasn’t sorry to be leaving. His stress was eating away on my own calm. By the time I’d packed up my backpack and we stood in the hall to say goodbye, my stomach was in knots.
He pulled me against him, kissing me soundly. It would have to last for three weeks. That knowledge made the knots in my stomach tighten to the point of pain, twisting the breath right out of me.
I broke the kiss, panting, but not from desire. “I have to go.”
He nodded, but his grip on the back of my neck didn’t loosen. “I know. Just let me look at you for another minute. We’re going to be here all night, and I need something good to get me through.”
He always said the things I needed to hear. And he didn’t say thembecauseI needed to hear them, which made it even better.
