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“You’re going to be okay, Jude.”

His thumb rubbed along my jaw while he held my gaze steady. “Why do I believe it when you say it?”

“Because I would tell you if you weremaking shit.” I brought my hands up and pushed at his chest. “Now, unhand me so I can get out of this stressful environment and back to my boring life.”

His eyes darted between mine. “I know my behavior was subpar today, but you’re coming back, right?”

“What? Of course.”

Jude drew me in for another deep kiss—too deep for a somewhat busy corridor, but let them watch if they wanted. I loved this man, and we both needed this right now.

I finally ripped myself away, taking an elevator down to the lobby. Before I went outside to hail a cab, I stopped in the bathroom. When I was washing my hands, it occurred to me I’d left my notebook filled with my class notes in the studio. It had slipped onto the floor at some point while I was studying, and I’d never bothered picking it up.

I rode the elevator up, buzzing with anticipation at getting to see Jude one more time before I left.

When I got to the studio, I cracked the door open carefully, trying to be quiet, in case they were recording. Jin and Jeremy were still in the same spot, mellow and relaxed. Seven and Jude were on the couch opposite them, both leaning forward over the small coffee table. My eyes darted down, and it took me a second to register what I saw.

No, that wasn’t right—I knew what I saw right away. There was no mistaking my boyfriend snorting a line of coke off the coffee table. It was just that my brain didn’t really want to believe it.

I thought about abandoning my notes and pretending this had never happened, but that wasn’t me. It wasn’t us. Jude wanted honesty between us, and he’d get it.

I pushed into the room and went straight for my notes. I held them up, making direct eye contact with my boyfriend. “Forgot these.”

He stood, closing the distance between us in two strides. Already, his pupils were dilated twice their normal size. That must not have been his first line.

“Stripes, baby…”

I pushed his chest. “Just...be careful. I’m not going to talk to you like this.”

His fingers dug into my waist as he held me. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Jude. I’ll call you when I get home.”

His hands fell away, and he let me walk out. In the hallway, I wiped a tear from my eye before shaking myself out and holding my head high.

This was okay.

It didn’t have to be a big deal.

We’d done drugs together. Not coke, but it wasn’t like E was candy.

I told myself that the entire way home, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of betrayal. He’d waited until I’d left to do it. He hadn’t wanted me to see. That, coupled with Jin’s comment, and maybe even Jude’s irrational behavior, had me wondering.

Worrying.

Me:I just got home. I’m so wrecked. We’ll talk tomorrow.

Jude:I love you, Stripes.

Me:Love you too, Jude. Be safe.

Jude:Don’t stop loving me cuz I’m a fuck up.

Me:Stop fucking up.

Me:I won’t.

Jude:I’m trying, Tali. I’ll call you in the morning. Love you.

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