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“Nina’s always been edgy, but she has the softest spot,” I patted my chest, above my heart, “right here. She protected that spot until she met Lydia, who is the most careful, gentle soul. With Lydia, Nina is safe to be soft. She isn’t waiting for the other shoe to drop, because they’re both running barefoot through fields of wildflowers. That’s the kind of exuberant, trusting, safe love they have. I’ve watched them grow as a couple over the last five years. From tentative to tender, they’ve inspired me. It’s okay to love again, even if you’re a little broken. Trust is a gift, and when it’s taken care of by the receiver, it’s nearly transcendent.”
I picked up my glass of champagne, holding it high. “Nina, you’ll always be my punk rock princess, my first concert-buddy, my mosh-pit partner, and my best friend. Lydia, don’t worry, I will keep Nina out of mosh pits and go with her to all the concerts of bands that give you a headache.”
Lydia laughed and held her glass up, mouthing, “Thank you.”
“To Nina and Lydia. May this day be one of dozens and dozens of the best of your life together. I hope you always have loud music and crazy dancing. And to my new cousin, Rose, when you’re ready for your first pair of Docs, call me, honey.”
Lydia and Nina’s daughter, with a crown of roses on her head, giggled at that idea, and Nina kissed her little cheek.
With a whoosh of breath, I took my seat again and drank a long swallow of champagne.
Jude’s arm curled around my shoulders, and he pressed his face against my neck. “Love you, Tali. No mosh pits for you, though, baby.”
“No need to worry. I have no desire to ever take a steel-toed boot to the shin again.”
I felt him cringe against my neck. “You can’t say things like that to me. Makes me want to travel back to like two-thousand-four and hunt down the motherfucker who did that. Makes me want to scoop up your silly eighteen-year-old ass and protect you from yourself.”
I curled my arms around him, laughing softly. “I’m here. I made it through, and I’ll never regret anything from my past. I am who I am because of all the painful mistakes I’ve made.We’rewho we are because of those mistakes.” I brought my hand up to his rough cheek. “And I love you and who you are.”
“I fucking adore who you are.” He searched my face, a smile curving along his mouth. “What do you think Nina will say at our wedding?”
There went gravity again, leaving my stomach in a floaty, flippy state.
“She’d a wildcard, so I have no idea. But she could give a pretty similar speech to mine. About trust being transcendent and realizing falling in love again is okay. And how I’m not waiting for the other shoe to drop because, frankly, a whole shoe store alreadyhasdropped.”
He nodded. “Wonder what Jinny will say?”
The idea made me grin. “Something crazy.”
“Hell yes, I can’t wait.” He held out his hand. “Dance with me, Stripes.”
The band started playing “Hey There, Delilah,” a throwback from the early two-thousands. We probably would have thought we were entirely too cool to dance to it when we were younger, but tonight? Nothing would keep me from Jude’s arms.
He grabbed me, holding me against him until my toes grazed the ground. “Hold on,” he whispered before he rocked me and crooned in my ear.
And there, in the middle of a rose garden in New York, I did what every step I’d taken for the past thirteen years led me to: I held on.
