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Hector held his hands out, like he was innocent, when this entire thing had been his idea. “This is true. A few nights ago, it was food, if that makes you feel better.”
“Food?” Tali laughed. “I’m not thinking of any songs about food.”
I nudged her with my elbow. “Uh, does ‘Cheeseburger in Paradise’ ring a bell?”
She tossed her head back, landing on my arm, and groaned in frustration. “How did I not think of that?”
“We could combine both themes and do a little ‘Sex and Candy,’” Michaela suggested.
Tali lifted her head. “Seriously? I didn’t think of that one either.”
“Forget about food songs. Focus on sex,” Jay said.
“So, what’s the plan here? A bunch of guys sing about sex then go back to your bunks to jerk it? Because I’m not sure I want to listen to you guys going at it…” Michaela said, giving each of us dirty looks.
Hector patted his chest. “I’m a married man. I’ve learned to masturbate in silence.”
Tali tilted her head. “What does being married have to do with it?”
He pointed a stubby finger at her. “That’s a trade secret. One day, when you’ve been married for twenty years, you’ll understand.”
“I kind of hope that never happens,” she said.
“Being married?” I asked.
“No.” She tucked her hair behind her ear, turning to me. “Silent masturbation. If he’s not in the mood to play with me, then at least let me watch.”
Jay groaned. “Perfect woman.”
Hector crossed his arms. “Again, let’s talk when you’ve been married twenty years.”
“Okay, Hector. If I should ever get married and we make it to twenty years, I’ll be sure to call you on our anniversary to discuss this topic.”
I turned my head so my face was nearly in her hair and snorted. “You are a class-A ballbuster, and I’m so very here for it, Stripes.”
She answered with a smile and a bump of her shoulder against mine.
“Are we ever doing this singalong? I have about thirty more minutes left on my battery before I collapse in a heap, and no one wants to be responsible for getting me to bed,” Michaela said.
Jay waved his arm above his head. “I volunteer as tribute.”
Tali let out a quiet laugh and leaned her head on my arm again. “I feel like I’m back in college.”
“Yeah, there’s something about being on the road that makes you act just a little bit stupid,” I said.
She tilted her head so her cheek rested on my bicep. “I wasn’t thinking stupid. More like lighthearted, the way it was before all the heaviness of life took over.”
I couldn’t remember a time when life wasn’t heavy, but it had to have been well before college-age. There was a time there, right after I met Tali, a lot of the weight I carried had lifted. After rehab, I’d learned to dump that shit off the side of a mountain when it got too heavy, but that was months and months of therapy. I did not have the coping skills back then.
Hector strummed his ukulele. “Let’s get started before Michaela passes out. Tali, since you’re new here, do you have a suggestion?”
She bit her lip, eyes alight. “I do. I hope you’re all up for it.”
“Tell us!” Michaela said.
“Well, you really can’t sing sex songs without Ginuwine. Let’s do ‘Pony.’”
“I think you should start. I’m not sure I remember how it goes,” I said.
