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“She lies,” I said. “Michaela has like a hundred-thousand followers. I think they were far more interested in seeing her pretty self in front of the Duomo than seeing me make duck lips over an espresso.”
Tino lowered his chin. “Youmade duck lips?”
I frowned at him. “Yes, Augustino. And I smiled a time or two as well. I may have even cracked a joke. Whether it was funny or not, you’ll have to ask Michaela.”
Tino turned to her, eyebrows raised. Michaela held her hands up. “I find Tali extremely amusing.”
I kicked her under the table. “See if I spend the day in Milan with you next time we’re here.”
She picked up her wine glass, middle finger extended. “You know you love me.”
“I do. Possibly less than I did before we sat down to dinner, but I do.”
Our day had been perfect, completely eradicating any lingering disappointment over not spending it with Jude. We ate cannolis, took pictures in front of old, beautiful, architecture, and tried on shoes worth thousands of dollars. I rarely had another woman on tour with me, so having Michaela was a breath of fresh air. She reminded me of Nina in a lot of ways, which was probably a big part of why I’d always liked her.
Dinner was an elaborate affair. The guys ordered enough food for three times as many people, and we made a valiant effort to eat it all, down to the tiramisu for dessert. We’d spent the entire time laughing and telling stories. Juan and Tino had hired a babysitter for the night, and they were taking full advantage. Neither seemed to be in a hurry to get home, and Michaela and I had nowhere else to be.
We were talking about college when Michaela dropped the bomb. “I can’t believe this hasn’t come up, but I got to meet Tali’s college boyfriend. Did you guys know him too?”
Tino froze. Juan’s mouth dropped open. I panicked.
“You met Jude?” Juan asked. “Where?”
Michaela glanced around the table, seeing the distress on all our faces. “He’s on tour with us, doing sound…did I say something wrong?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tino asked softly.
“Because it doesn’t matter. We’re working, that’s all,” I said.
“That motherfucker did this on purpose, didn’t he?”
I couldn’t deny it. “He knew before he was hired I would be on tour, yes.”
Juan rubbed Tino’s back, speaking soothing words in his ear.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” Michaela said to me.
“It’s fine. I should have warned you. When Jude and I broke up, he kind of broke up with everyone, including Tino,” I said.
“Abandoned everyone. That motherfucker abandoned us, then he kept popping back into your life, fucking you up just enough so you couldn’t forget him and move on.”
“I’ve moved on.”
Ihadmoved on. The times I saw him post-breakup had been setbacks, but I hadn’t sat home pining for Jude. I wasn’t that girl, and Tino damn well knew it.
“He’s been clean for eight years,” I added.
He shook his head, sadness written on his features. “You’ve been talking to him?” I nodded once. “Fuck, Tals. Don’t get wrapped up in that guy again.”
I loved Tino like a brother, but I was an adult who knew myself well. And even back then, I’d been in love, not wrapped up. My head had always been far too level to give up everything for a man. I’d maintained friendships and never abandoned my plans or goals for Jude, as much as I’d loved him.
I hadn’t been planning for the end of our relationship, but in retrospect, my continued independence had been a big part of my ability to survive once it happened.
“It seems this is a subject we should keep avoiding,” I said.
He stared at me for a long time, nostrils flaring as he got control of his breathing.
“He emailed me seven years ago,” Tino said. “He was doing an apology tour, the kind they make you do inthe program. He laid out all the ways he knew he’d hurt me, offered an explanation, and apologized for each one. In my mind, I forgave him then. But I will never forget the bullshit he put you through. We could be ninety, and I’ll still hold a grudge.”
