I elbowed my cousin. “Really?”
She held her free hand up, the other tucked in Lydia’s. “It was a good speech.”
My focus returned to the stage, to Jude and his guitar. He had other musicians on stage with him, but there was no doubt this was his show.
He played favorites from Never Again, but in a stripped down, raw style. The music he made was beautiful and spellbinding. I got caught up, forgetting our history, allowing myself to be swept away by his addictive lyrics and melodies. His newer songs were sad; there was no other word for it. But behind the sadness was hope. One of the lines he sang was branded on my memory: “The sun went down on my rock bottom. The moonlight lit my way back up.”
Jude perched on a wooden stool and the lights dimmed. “I’m pretty sure everyone here knows I’ve been through some heavy shit over the last couple years.”
Someone in the audience screamed, “We love you, Jude!” He grinned, closing his eyes for a moment.
“I love you too,” he responded. “You guys have been here, no matter how much I fucked up. Now, I want to give you something I’ve only given to a few people. This is a song I’m only performing on this tour. It’ll never go on an album or be found on Spotify if I can help it. So listen up and listen well. Here’s ‘Broken Forever.’”
I knew. I just knew. The second he strummed the first chords, my heart stopped. He’d never gotten around to putting the song we wrote together to music, despite his big talk and promises. At least, I thought he hadn’t, but it seemed he had. Years later, here it was.
You’re always miles and years away
When I wish you were closer than ever
Will we ever make it back one day
Or will I give in to this ache?
She once said the distance between us
was only space and time
As long as I held tight to my compass
And the way back to her clear in my mind
Lost so long, I don’t know how to be found
Wandering in circles, going ’round and ’round
I saw the light once, it was in her eyes
She pulled me in, she became my guide
We were tripping and the end was never
Until our road crumbled away into a broken forever
Thin white lines showed me the light
Whispering to stop and give up the fight
Bruised knuckles hung at my sides
Sit back and enjoy the ride
Nothing good can come from this, she said
I need you to love me more than this, she begged
But even the most alive things are dead
And my compass only points east, south, and west