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The last time I saw Jude, I was certain the next news I heard about him would be he’d died. I’d made Jin promise to tell me if he did. That hadn’t been an easy conversation, but when someone you care deeply for is an addict, it’s one that can’t be avoided.
“I know it won’t be easy. But maybe it’ll be good to see him healthy and making music again. It could provide closure or something.”
I huffed a short laugh. “Right. Or it could open up a thousand new and old wounds.”
“I’m not going to press you on this. At least come to dinner, then decide?” She batted her long lashes at me.
“Fine. I’d love to do dinner. Don’t count on me saying yes to the show, though.”
She clapped. “Ahhh...I’m so nervous.” She picked up her phone. “I have to text Lydia and let her know it’s a go.”
“Just dinner.”
She smiled as she typed. “Right, just dinner.”
It wasn’t just dinner.
Lydia was perfect, and not in a fake way. She was as beautiful as Nina had said, with thick braids flowing down her back, smooth, milky brown skin, and a lusciously full figure. Her voice was soft and melodic, backed by layers of confidence and self-assurance.
I was so taken with her, I agreed to go to Jude’s concert without hesitation. She’d asked, and I’d said yes. Nina had laughed at me behind her hand.
I’d been to see a few concerts at the 9:30 Club since that last night we were all together and everything changed. But being back there to see him perform again was a little surreal. Tonight wouldn’t be the same. The only commonalities were me, Nina, and Jude. Even the bouncers were different. The guy with the bushy red beard, septum piercing, and beautiful smile wasn’t at the door to greet us, and Jude’s former co-worker, Eric, had moved on to greener pastures years ago. The club, though—it was the same.
The way my heart hammered in my chest was the same too.
I kept as calm as possible by nursing a beer and talking to Lydia about her daughter.
“Aw, honey, I’m not sure you’ve heard anything I’ve told you,” Lydia said, rubbing my hand briefly.
“I don’t know how weird this will be. And I don’t think I want him to know I’m here.”
Nina curled her arm around my shoulder and kissed my head. “I’ve got you, Tals. I promise, if you’re uncomfortable at all, we’ll go.”
“Lydia is going to think I’m a major drama queen.”
Lydia laughed. “I don’t and I won’t. I’ve been heartbroken and dealt with the aftermath. I’m just lucky Rose’s dad was more of a friend than anything. If I had to deal with some of my exes on a regular basis like I do him, I’d be running for the hills.”
Lydia’s warmth drew me in. I liked how open she was about her past and her identity. I knew Nina was hesitant because Lydia was bisexual, but Heather hadn’t cheated on her because she was bi. She’d cheated because she was a dishonest bitch. Lydia gave me none of those vibes.
When the opening act came on, we pushed forward a bit, staying in the middle of the crowd. The club was general admission, and as long as no super tall dude got in my way, staying right in the middle worked for me. Although, tonight, the last row was rather tempting.
By the time the lights went out again, I was queasy with nerves. I was so focused on the movements on the dark stage, I didn’t notice Nina and Lydia pulling me closer until just a few people separated us from the stage.
“We’re too close,” I hissed.
“He’s not going to see you,” Nina replied.
He might not, that was true. But I sure as hell saw him when the lights came on, shining down on the man who was still more beautiful than one person should ever be.
Jude stood under the spotlight, guitar strapped to his chest, booted feet spread wide. His smile grew slowly as the applause revved up. He hadn’t said a word, hadn’t played a note, and already, the crowd was going crazy.
Music as a business may not have loved Jude, but damn if his fans didn’t love him still. He’d always given them everything; more than he could afford to give. I’d once told him I shared him with his audience and he’d denied it, but that hadn’t made it untrue. Maybe he’d been too young or stubborn to recognize how much of himself he gave away back then, but I saw it. It hadn’t simply been the drugs that changed him, although I couldn’t deny that was a huge piece of it. Jude had been frantic to please his fans. He gave and he gave and he gave. He answered questions that were far too personal. He stayed for hours after gigs if fans wanted to hang out. He said yes to every gig and opportunity so he didn’t disappoint them, even if it meant disappointing the people who really loved him.
I’d worked with enough rock stars to know a lot of them started out that way, but the ones who had longevity in the business worked out boundaries and compartmentalized themselves into private and public.
“Hey, D.C.,” Jude said in his low, gritty voice. It had been years since I’d heard that voice in person, and it washed over me like a summer rain, cooling my skin in this impossible heat. “It’s been too long since I performed here. Did you notice those scary-looking motherfuckers in the black shirts with “security” printed on them? I used to be one of those motherfuckers back in the day.” He pointed to the crowd with his pick between his fingers. “I may not be as young as I used to be, but don’t test me. Any of you dudes get handsy, I’ll hop right off this stage and use my bouncer training to throw your ass out. Got it?”
A collective sigh could almost be heard from every female in the audience, including Lydia and Nina.
