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The bathroom is covered with them. On the sink, the floor, floating sadly in the toilet.
Truly, I’ve never seen so many pregnancy tests, and I’ve had my fair share of scares.
I pick one up from the vanity and examine it.
It’s positive.
It’s obvious that it isn’t Becky taking all of these since we can all clearly see she’s pregnant, so once we figure out how I got fucking married last night, we have a whole new issue to address.
I walk toward the living room, trying to find any piece of evidence that can help us. As I get closer, I start gagging.
I smell the living room before I see it.
“Oh, gross!” Mysti says, covering her nose.
The reek of absinthe after a night of knocking it back shot after shot hits you like a smack in the face. Clearly, there was a bit of a spill. More than a bit, really.
From the stench, it’s like the world’s biggest party foul.
I follow Mysti’s lead, covering my nose. The smell only grows more pungent as we get closer. When we reach the living room, I quickly spot the puddle.
Yeah, that’s a lot.
Really though, not as half as interesting as what I found on the piano.
Sprawled across the Steinway, naked as the day she was born,which must be sometime in the early 1700s, is possibly the oldest woman I’ve ever seen.
Her gray hair hangs limply from the edge, drool pooling on the lid.
From the pound of makeup on her face, I’m definitely thinking hooker. I’m not sure how that’s possible at her age, but I make a mental note to ask what her secret is.
“Fuck,” Sammi says, following my line of sight.
I shrug, continuing further into the room.Honestly, I’m still just waiting for some beastie to jump out and wrap itself around my head like a scene from alien movie.
All jokes aside, that’sreallynot the kind of face sucker I’m into.
With this group though, it definitely might be a possibility.
If anyone could manage to go for a night on the town and end up bringing back a hungry alien, it’s me and my girls.
“Well, that’s actually kind of pretty.” Mysti says.
I glance back at the ancient hooker.
“For fuck’s sake, Mysti. Not even you could believe that.”
She giggles, “No, notthat.” She says, looking pointedly across the room.
I follow her eyes, relieved when I find the source of her amusement.
Through the glass doors I see the hot tub, a mountain of bubbles forming like a volcano.
“Oh, yeah,” I laugh. “Pretty.”
“Hey,” Sammi chimes in. “Isn’t that Silver Fox?”
“Where?” I ask, doing a three-sixty that makes my head spin.
