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And, as cruel as it sounds, I’m tempted to string them along a bit to get a rise out of them. I’ll call it payback for fucking around with the foam instead of helping.
“Oh no. Please no,” Sammi says. “I can’t believe I’d do this to Lock. Not after Bangkok and that whole shit show.”
“You? I’m the one who’s pregnant,” Becky chimes in.
“Fuck, we still don’t know if those were my tests earlier or not,” Sammi counters.
“They better not be mine,” Mysti declares.
“Well, given the number of bracelets you have who fucking knows. You’re not exactly picky when it comes to the relationship department,” Sammi says.
Mysti looks like she’s about to say something to shoot down what Sammi just said, but she ends up shrugging her shoulders and nodding.
As much as we all love Mysti, she isn’t exactly known for her taste in partners.
Her theater of exes includes a secret Colombian cocaine lord and a woman who was already married. I mean, her last fling was a ladyboy Celine Dion impersonator, for fuck’s sake.
But any temptation I have to make Sammi and Becky sweat goes out the window because of their concerns.
“Girls, knock it off. You guys didn’t do anything dirty or perverted or naughty to get your bracelets.” I reveal.
All three of them look at me.
Sammi and Becky look beyond relieved at the news. Mysti May actually looks disappointed.
“We didn’t?” Sammi asks with a raised eyebrow.
“No, you didn’t. I did. I did a lot, and I meana lot, of dirty things. It was pretty fucking hot, actually. This guy had a super big schlong and really knew how to play with my pussy. And when he came in my mouth—”
“Okay, okay. We get it. You’re a slut for big dicks,” Becky interrupts with a laugh.
She’s not wrong. I really am. It’s why I can’t get married.
I’m a woman who cannot—and will not—be tamed by any man. I’m a lioness without a pack who devours prey and lover alike. To be wed is to be tied down and caged in a life of dull, repetitive sex. That’s not only a life I want to live. It’s a life I can’t live.
The very thought of such an existence makes me sick to my stomach.
A woman like me needs her freedom to be who she wants to be.
Men can’t handle that. It breaks their fragile ego to be with a woman who has more needs than they can fulfill on their own.
It’s not their fault—not that they believe me when I tell them—but it’s also not my problem.
I’m super happy that Sammi and Becky found their one true love that fulfills their every need. Seriously, I’m over-the-moon happy for them that they have that, but their appetites have never been as big as mine.
“So, wait a second, you did your usual thing of being naughty with the men to get yours, but how the fuck did we get ours then?” Sammi asks confused.
“Oh, you guys stole a box of them and put them on after you stole the horses.”
“Oooohhhhhhhhh. Wait! Horses!?” Sammi blurts out.
“Oh, yeah. You three stole a couple of horses last night. Beautiful ones too. Big chestnut colored stallions.”
“Really? You couldn’t say ‘brown,’ Percy? Just had to use a word with ‘nut’ in it, didn’t you?” Mysti says with arms folded over her chest and a smirk on her face.
There’s a moment of silence between us before we all start laughing.
“All right, so where did we get the horses?”
