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Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ian
He’d been catching up with some friends when he saw Hudson scoop Coco up and work his way through the crowd to the back staircase looking like he was in a hurry to get her out of there.
As far as Ian knew, she’d been doing great—what had changed?
Hudson was absolutely capable of handling Coco if she was upset but Ian also knew if he didn’t get the scoop on what had happened, he’d fret about it all night. Hadn’t seemed like their little girl had gotten sleepy all of a sudden. No, then Huds would’ve brought her over and told him he was going to put her to bed.
Ian excused himself with hasty goodbyes and headed after them, punching in the combination lock on the door to the back staircase and taking the stairs two at a time to get up to the loft. He listened briefly at the door to the second floor, but if Coco was upset Huds would’ve brought her to the playroom. So that’s where he went.
Not surprisingly, he found Hud in the rocking chair, cradling a sobbing Coco in his arms.
“What the fuck happened?” he demanded as he squatted in front of them so he could comfort Coco too. He softened his voice and leaned in to murmur reassurances in her little pink shell of an ear. “Daddy and Papa are here, baby. You’re okay.”
Hudson made eye contact with him over Coco’s hedgehog pigtails. “I don’t know exactly. She saw Ryker and Isa playing and got really upset. Like barely coherent upset.”
Oof, those two could play really fucking rough—had it triggered some memory for her? Had it looked too close to what she had experienced under Judah’s hands? While he found it goddamn adorable when Coco descended into a little baby talk, so far she’d mostly done it when she was really comfortable or happy.
“Sweetheart, can you talk to us? Tell us why you’re so upset? Maybe Daddy and I can help.”
Help by breaking Ryker’s face maybe. Ian wasn’t mad that his partner was playing at the club—guy had been working overtime like whoa since he and Huds had been wrapped up in Coco and now that they had some reliable help he deserved a night to blow off some steam. But could he not have given them a heads up? Or played in one of the private rooms or something? Except Ry never played in private.
Nah, it wasn’t fair to blame Ry, but that fiery temper of Ian’s had flared when he’d heard something had upset Coco, and Ryker was the only person he could think to blame. Good thing Ry was still down in the club so Ian could cool off before he saw him again. Hopefully they’d get Coco settled down and then he’d be able to breathe easier.
“Teapot, was it seeing Ryker play with Isa? Is that why you’re so upset?”
She nodded into Hudson’s neck. Or at least Ian thought she had, it was hard to tell with all the sobbing. Yep, still wanted to strangle Ry.
“Babygirl, I know they play really rough and it can look scary but I promise they were being safe. Ryker knows what he’s doing and he and Isa have played together a bunch. They negotiate everything beforehand and she goes home with a lot of marks but he’s never harmed her. We would never allow anyone to play in the club unsafely. And you never, ever have to play with Ryker if you don’t want to.”
Ian had meant to reassure her, make her feel better, but his little girl just cried harder. Maybe they had this all wrong. Maybe—
“I do! I do want to. But he won’t. Not with me. Not ever.”
Ah. So he really was going to have to punch Ry. Not like it would be the first time.
He and Hudson looked at each other over Coco’s head again. It was time to give Ry a talking to, because what the fuck. If Ian thought his partner didn’t find Coco attractive that was one thing. But he’d seen the way Ry looked at her: hungry. He wanted her. He just wouldn’t let himself have her, and he was going to have to get over that, for all their sakes.
* * *
Cosima
Cosima hadn’t woken to yelling for a long time. And this was different in that no one was yellingather, dragging her from her nest of whatever scraps she’d piled together to sleep in. No, the raised voices weren’t in the playroom where Daddy and Papa had tucked her in after they got her settled down, they were down the hall. Maybe even on the other floor.
She sat up in the crib and crawled toward the end closest to the door, straining to make out the words but all she could hear were angry voices. Were her daddies fighting?
Her stomach lurched because she didn’t like fighting and she didn’t like yelling and… What if they were fighting about her? What if this was her fault? Maybe Ryker wanted her to leave.
Cosima didn’t totally understand the bond between the three men and hadn’t wanted to ask—they told her so much. If they didn’t want to explain, then what business did she have asking? What if she asked and they got angry with her?
If they were fighting about her then there was only one thing to do. Leave. She wouldn’t repay all of their kindness by ruining their family. Because whatever the precise nature of the bonds between them were, she was certain of that—Hudson and Ian and Ryker were a family.
She knew she wasn’t supposed to and she knew she’d get spanked if she got caught but she couldn’t just sit here and listen to those shouty voices anymore.
A little part of her hoped it was about the club. Not that she wanted there to be trouble with their business at all, but then it wouldn’t be about her. If it was about Hive, maybe she could help. It wasn’t like she had any skills but they could teach her, she could learn. She had been pretty good at school. Before.
But that part of her that always expected the worst and was so often right whispered louder that they were definitely fighting about her.
* * *
Ian
How the fuck did he end up playing the role of the middle child? He was the one with the short temper, he was the one who was most likely to do stupid, reckless shit, and yet when the three of them were fighting, Ian found himself the default peacemaker. And it was—frankly—really fucking annoying. He was much more comfortable being the asshole in this triangle.
“It’s one thing to not play with her. No one’s going to force you to do that. It wouldn’t be fair to you and it wouldn’t be fair to her because she’d be able to feel it. But if you’re not going to play with her, at least do her the courtesy of not playing with anyone else where she’s going to see it. Do you know how badly you hurt her feelings?”
Hudson was looming over Ryker who was slouching on the couch like a moody ass teenager.
“So now I can’t blow off some steam in my own fucking club? Are you going to give me a schedule so I know when and where I’m allowed to be at all times? It’s one thing for you two to choose to have your lives revolve around her, but that’s not what I signed up for,” Ryker shot back.
And then there was Coco, standing in the hall with her pretty pale green nightgown with the white lace—the one her told her made her look like a mint nonpareil—Hopscotch dangling from her hand with her eyes wide and her lips rolled between her teeth looking like she was about to burst into tears.
Fuck. He hadn’t realized they were fighting so loud they’d wake the little one.
“Coco, baby, what are you doing up?”
He made sure to raise his voice loud enough so Huds and Ryker would shut the fuck up. Luckily they weren’t so far gone in their shouting match to notice and they did, snapping their mouths shut.
He strode toward the little girl who was pressing against the wall, looking scared.
“You know you’re not supposed to be out of your crib. You could have hurt yourself getting out, and you have your walkie to call us if you need something before we bring you to bed. Why didn’t you use it instead of endangering yourself?”
She blinked up at him with those big honey-colored eyes and whispered, “I’m sorry, Papa. I heard yelling and I wanted to see what was wrong.”
“I’m sorry we woke you up, sweetheart. Nothing’s wrong, I promise. Daddies have arguments sometimes and they’re not anything little girls need to worry about.”
She looked around him at Hudson and Ryker, and he turned to see them with their arms crossed over their chests and glaring at each other with thinly veiled hostility. They were going to have to knock that off because Coco needed reassurance and they were fucking well going to give it to her.
“Come on,” he said, taking her small hand in his and leading her toward the sitting area. “Daddy and Ryker are going to tell you everything is fine and they’re going to apologize for waking you and making you worry and then you’re going to go back to your crib.”
Coco clung to him and shuffled along, tucking herself half behind him.
“C’mere, Cosy,” Hudson said, holding out a hand and sitting down.
Poor thing took nervous little mincing steps toward him until she was close enough that Huds could scoop her onto his lap. He gave her a big hug and rubbed her back.
“You don’t have anything to worry about, okay? Sometimes grown-ups have disagreements that they need to work out and we lose our patience with each other and raise our voices. I know yelling can sound scary and we’ll try to be more respectful of each other. I promise we’ve had a lot of arguments before and we always work things out.”
He was so good with her. Hud always had so much patience, and even though he’d been shouting a minute ago he was all calm and soothing with Coco. Maybe he’d give Ian a hug after this too. He was probably going to need it after playing moderator between these two punks.
Ian almost snorted when Hudson kicked Ryker’s ankle. Ry shot him a glare and didn’t uncross his arms, but he did apologize to Coco.
“I’m sorry we woke you. We’ll try to keep it down, and everything’s going to be fine.”
Well, it wasn’t the most reassuring but it was better than nothing.
“See, Coco? We’re sorry we upset you and we’ll work it out without any more yelling. Scout’s honor.”
She didn’t look like she completely believed him and he couldn’t say he blamed her. But she did concede with an, “Okay, Papa,” and that was about as much as he could ask.
“Before we send you back to your room, you did break the rules so you’re going to get a spanking. Come here.”
Hudson lifted her off his lap and sent her in his direction with a pat to her bottom. Coco walked back to him, still holding Hopscotch, and he beckoned her to stand between his thighs and then clamped them around her legs so she wouldn’t be going anywhere. He reached under her nighty to pull down her diaper, and then used a hand to hold the silky mint fabric up at her waist.
“Hold onto me, baby. That’s right,” he said as she looped her hands around his neck, pressing Hopscotch against his chest.
“You’re getting spanked because you were a naughty girl who got out of her crib after Daddy and Papa tucked you in. You know that’s against the rules and there were other ways you could’ve solved the problem without potentially injuring yourself. I’m going to administer part of your punishment and Daddy is going to give you the rest of your spanking when he brings you back to the playroom. Are we understood?”
“Yes, Papa,” she said, eyes downcast and lashes beaded with tears. For such a hardened and hardy survivor, their little girl sure was very sensitive to being disciplined. Little sweetheart.
“Okay, precious. Here we go.”
He never spanked her very hard—first of all, she didn’t have enough meat on her bones yet, and second, for all that she’d survived and how much she could take when they were playing around for fun, punishment spankings seemed to cut her right to the quick and he only ever doled out a few dozen. Probably to do with that piece of shit who’d had the nerve to call himself her master. Everything had been about punishment, about meaning to hurt her.
Yes, Ian wanted her backside stinging and swollen and red, but hurting her wasn’t really the point. It was a reminder of how to behave and also a reminder that this was part of how her daddies loved her and took care of her. He’d seen her do it when she thought no one was looking—shift on the floor to create a bloom of pain on some of her marks.
So he spanked her, not bothering to warm her up at all, and the harshness made his little Coco gasp and cling to him. His hand had only landed across her buttocks a dozen times when she started to cry and blubber her apologies.
“I’m sorry, Papa. I’m sorry I got out of my crib by myself, I won’t do it again. I know you and Daddy make rules to keep me safe and I’m sorry I didn’t listen. I’m sorry.”
After three dozen, he widened his thighs so he could slip her legs out from in between them and cradle her in his lap, resting her freshly spanked and bared bottom on his thigh where he could feel the heat of it through his jeans.
“Oh, princess, I know you’re sorry. It’s okay. You’re a very good girl who made a mistake. And I know it must have been scary to hear your daddies arguing. Next time use your walkie and we’ll come make you feel better, okay?”
“Okay, Papa,” she sniffed as he rubbed her back and held her.
After a few more minutes of comforting his precious little girl, he kissed the top of her head and murmured into her hair, “It’s time for Daddy to put you back in your crib. Little girls need lots of sleep. But I want you to know Papa loves you very much, even when you make mistakes.”
“I love you too, Papa.”
“Goodnight, baby. I’ll see you in a little bit when we bring you to bed.”
Ryker
“Look at what you did,” Ian said, gesturing down the hall toward where Hudson had carried Cosima to bring her back to the play room.
“I wasn’t the only one who raised my voice,” he pointed out, even though he knew what Ian was talking about and it wasn’t the yelling. They wouldn’t have been having this fight at all if it weren’t for him.
“No, you’re not. But you are the one who’s making this so difficult. Why can’t you bend this one time? That girl would fold herself into a pretzel for you. She would do anything for any of us because she’s a sweet and generous person who just wants to be loved and you’re a withholding gremlin. A mean old dragon who hoards affection like it’s gold. Which one of those sounds better to you?”
“What, you’re going to choose her over me?”
“No, man. You know we would never. That’s not the deal we made. Whatever else Huds and I might be, we’re also your best friends, loyal as all fuck, and we made this agreement a long time ago. So no, no one is choosing anyone over anyone else. But you need to stop being such a stubborn dickhead and give her a shot. It’s not fair to us and it’s not fair to her that you barely look at her.”
“She can’t handle me,” he growled, all the while picturing pretty little Cosima strung up with whip bites all over her ass and back, a leather harness crisscrossing her head and holding a fat ball gag in her mouth that she was drooling around because he’d been tormenting her for an hour. He’d drop the whip to the ground, stalk over to her and wrap a hand around her throat, press his rock hard cock into her backside making her choke around her gag and eke out little squealing noises while he pinched her welts and squeezed her tits hard, twisted and yanked on her already sore nipples. Then he’d clamp them along with her swollen little clit, bite into her flesh with his unyielding teeth, and fuck her so hard she’d be walking bow-legged the next day.
No, he’d never be able to do those things to this tiny little girl who Ian and Hudson had dragged half-dead from the street. He liked hurting women—a lot—and he wanted to hurt Cosima—badly—but he couldn’t.
So she couldn’t stay. Either that or he couldn’t.
“Ian, I can’t—”
His flame-haired partner raked his fingers through his mop of hair. He was due for another visit from Halliday.
“Yes you fucking well can. No one is asking you to marry her. No one is asking you to collar her. No one is asking you to fall truly, madly, deeply in love with her. We don’t expect you to bathe her or feed her or change her or dress her. She doesn’t need you to daddy her in any way. That’s not your jam and we get it. But she likes to be hurt and you like to hurt women. So stop standing in your own way and give her a shot. You need to figure out some way to relate to Coco that isn’t avoiding her and making her feel like she’s ruining our relationship. This isn’t her fault. I’m laying the blame for this squarely on your emotionally unavailable shoulders where it fucking belongs. Check yourself before you wreck yourself, you stubborn defective.”
Ian stormed off then, probably wishing there were more doors in the loft so he could slam them. That jackass was annoying but he wasn’t wrong. Which is what made him extra obnoxious.
Apparently ignoring Cosima wasn’t going to fly so he’d have to figure out another way to deal with her—before he lost everything good in his life. Again.
