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Hardly.
“Leigh, baby, just…listen to me, please. I love you. I’ve always loved you. You know I wouldn’t do this…I would never hurt you.”
“What do you call this?” I yell as I let out a breath. I shake my head, my body finally succumbing to the pain as the tears slide down my cheeks. “I used to see you as this person that would never hurt me. But this? This is bullshit. If you loved me you never would have allowed yourself to be in this situation. Why the hell were you even in bed with her? Why would you agree to go to her room? How…how could you do this to me? To us?” Her questions are coming in rapid fire, and I don’t know what to say or how to explain that will make this easier. That will make all of this go away.
“I…I don’t know, Leigh. But you know me…” He grabs my hand and puts it over his heart before I can wriggle out of his grasp. “You know I’d die before I hurt you.”
“Well, I guess I’ll start planning your funeral.” I spit out before I snatch my hand away. I wipe the tears from my eyes and take a few steps away from him. “I should have known this would happen.” I shake my head. “How you get him is how you lose him. I just never imagined I’d lose you on the night I got you.”
His arms are gripping my biceps hard the second the words leave my lips. “You’re not allowed to throw that shit in my face. You’re not allowed to hold that over my head like I could ever be capable of doing to you what I did to Alli or any girl that I’ve TRIED to entertain while I deal with my feelings for you. That’s not fair and you know it.”
Fair? He’s telling me what’s not fair? “What’s not fair is you telling me you love me and then hooking up with some other girl the same night!”
“I don’t know that I hooked up with her, Leigh.”
Does he think I’m stupid? “Bullshit. You two were both naked? Something happened.”
He runs a hand through that silky, gorgeous head of blonde hair that I wish I was pulling on as he plowed into me. No, Leighton. “I can’t…I can’t say one way or the other. But I came to you. I could have lied. I could have tried to keep it from you.”
“And if Alli wasn’t such a vindictive cunt that is probably chomping at the bit as we speak to get to me, you probably would have kept it from me. You knew Alli would blow your cover. Don’t try to pretend that you’re telling me because you’re trying to do the right thing, Everett.” I snort.
“It is! When have I ever lied to you? About anything!” The words explode out of him.
“I don’t know, you tell me?”
“Look,” he growls, “I get you’re pissed, and rightfully so, but don’t be childish.”
“I’M BEING CHILDISH?”
“Yes, Leighton, you are. You know damn well I’ve never lied to you. Ever.” His voice is hard and cold and for a full minute, I swear neither of us blinks as we hold each other’s gazes. Finally, I look away.
“Fine.” I move towards my bedroom door and open it. “I still need you to leave.”
“Wh—what?” He takes a step back and a part of me hopes that he doesn’t try to fight me on staying. That he gives me the space I need. Hell, that he probably needs too.
“I need you to go.” My voice wavers, lacking conviction, and I know all it will take is one “Leighton,” for me to let him stay. I’m not strong enough for this.
As if he can hear my thoughts, I feel his hand on my cheek. “Leighton…”
Be strong. Don’t let him suck you in. “No!” I cry, the tears sliding down my face and I push his hands away. “No…you…you have to go. I need time. I need space.”
“From me? Leighton, she doesn’t mean anything. I told you that.” His voice is pleading and I know I need him to go before that tiny voice in the back of my mind that is begging me to believe him starts to get louder. I needed space away from him to clear my thoughts and I can’t do that while his blue eyes are staring into my soul like he knows every inch of it.
“It doesn’t matter, Everett. You told me you weren’t going to break us. You promised! And you did on the first fucking night.”
“Please, baby…just…can we get past this? Tell me what I can do, I’ll do anything,” he pleads.
“There’s nothing you can do, Everett. And I don’t know if we can.” I shake my head as I avoid his gaze. “I’ll call you.”
“When?”
“When I figure it out. When…it doesn’t hurt so much.” I close my eyes and smell his cologne in my personal space. “Please…don’t.” I back up against the door, but I feel his presence surrounding me.
“Look at me, baby.”
“No…please,” I whimper and I hate the sound of my voice. I sound so pitiful and weak.
I hate it.
