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Before I’m even fully awake, my heart sinks in my chest. It sinks so far that I’m desperate to return to my prior comatose state so I don’t have to deal with the shitstorm of my life.

Everett got Alli pregnant.

Everett is going to be a dad.

Everett is having a baby with someone else.

Nothing about this is fair and I have enough self-awareness to know that I’m going to have a difficult time coping with it. I’m not sure if I’m necessarily upset about the potential one-time incident where my man fucked another woman…although, that did really fucking piss me off.

But it’s more than that. She’s going to have him in a way I can’t. A way I may never have him. And she’s going to have him forever…or at the very least the next eighteen years. A very familiar lyric by Kanye West floats through my head and I remember Skyler’s comment.

Could Alli be full of shit? Sure, she’s petty and hates me, but would she really go this far? Faking a pregnancy? Or maybe she is, but it’s not Everett’s baby? Is this all a ploy so she can have him?

“I can hear you thinking.” I’m brought into strong arms and for a second I let them lull me into this false sense of security. For a second, I pretend that the beginnings of a tornado aren’t swirling around us, threatening to tear up the solid foundation we’ve spent eleven years building. I turn in his arms and stare up into sleepy blue eyes.

“Can you blame me?” I whisper. His chest is bare and I press my face into the warm space just over his heart. There’s a light smattering of hair but for the most part, he’s pretty bare. He pulls me harder against him and I bump against his cock that’s probably been up for longer than both of us have.

He pulls away slightly so that I’m not rubbing directly against it, and I can’t decide if I’m relieved or annoyed. Physically, I’m ready to pounce. Mentally, I can’t handle that level of intimacy while I’m combating an emotional hangover that rivals any physical one I’ve ever experienced. “What are you thinking about?” he asks.

“What happens now?”

“I don’t know…” He pulls away from me to stare at my ceiling, and immediately I feel the absence of his touch. I know this situation is bigger than just my feelings, and I fear Everett will use that as a reason not to confide in me. He wouldn’t risk upsetting me by disclosing his fears and I hate that.

I sit up and stare down at him. “Yes, you do,” I murmur. “Talk to me. Don’t shut me out, Everett. Not now.”

He turns his head to look at me and reaches up to run a hand down my face. “This isn’t your problem, and I hate that it’s going to end up hurting you.”

I furrow my brows and shake my head. “It’s not a problem, Everett. It’s a baby. And as much as I want to hate it…he, she, whatever…I can’t. Because it’s your baby. Even if it’s not mine too. Don’t hide things from me. I’m here. I want to be…I just…” I let out a breath. “It’s just going to take some getting used to.”

He nods and reaches up to pull me down by the back of my neck. “Thank you,” he whispers. “I was worried I was going to have to do this without you.”

Well, you are…my mind thinks involuntarily, and I slam my eyes shut at the thought. It’s going to take some time to train my brain to not immediately revert to sarcasm or bitchy or anger with Everett—and even Alli. “I guess I should call my parents.” He says.

“Eve and Mike are going to flip,” I say. “No seriously, they’re probably going to fly out here.” I look up at the ceiling and a smile finds my face. “Actually, that wouldn’t be the worst thing. I’ve been in the mood for a steak.” Everett glares at me and I giggle. Despite their nasty divorce, they still show up for Everett. They had put on their polite faces and dealt with graduations and college move-in day three times and family weekends and championship lacrosse games. They donned their CGU parent gear and played nice for the weekend and it always ended up with a fancy dinner that I was always invited to. Sometimes Everett’s stepdad would come, but Everett isn’t too fond of him, so Eve kept his appearances to a minimum.

“My dad is going to kick my ass. He always warned me about wrapping it up.” He groans. “Of course, he laid off when he figured out I was only banging you.”

“As he should. He knows I’d give him some pretty as fuck grandchildren,” I joke, and I realize that instead of sarcasm or anger, perhaps humor would be my go-to defense mechanism in all of this.

“Will give him some pretty as fuck grandchildren,” Everett corrects.

I roll my eyes. “How about you focus on the one you’ve knocked up for now, okay?” Ah, there’s the sarcasm. Right on cue. I’m off the bed and pulling on a pair of leggings and I can feel Everett’s gaze following me around the room.

“Do you want me to go?” he asks, and I sigh, shaking my head.

“No…no I don’t. If you leave, I’ll just think you’re with her and I’m just…I hate that you’re going to have to spend time with her.”

“Baby…” I can feel him preparing to placate me, and I don’t want to hear it.

“No. I know it’s stupid and silly, but I’m jealous, okay? I’m jealous and I hate that she wins.” I run a brush through my hair and twist it into a bun at the top of my head.

“I don’t think she wins, babe. Her whole life is about to be turned upside down.”

“Are you defending her? She probably got pregnant on purpose,” I snap as I pull Everett’s t-shirt off and replace it with one of my own.

“Leigh…I doubt that.” He snorts as he gets up, and I hate that he’s dismissing my idea so quickly. He pulls on a pair of sweats and stands in front of me, putting his hands on my shoulders. “I get feeling jealous. And I can’t blame you for feeling that way over the fact that there will be a baby, but I won’t have you feeling jealous of Alli. If you’re thinking she “won” me, then stop it. She didn’t. I’m yours, Leigh.” He says as his eyes bore into mine.

I sigh and nod slowly, trying to shake my insecurities from my brain with every nod of my head. We shuffle into the bathroom to brush our teeth and do other morning activities that have married couple written all over them before heading downstairs. When we get to the bottom, I see Peyton nursing a glass of orange juice that I’m sure is spiked with something as she scrolls through her phone. “Hey.”

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