AllFreeNovel
Share Us
You should have told her weeks ago. Hell, months ago. You should have been honest about your past. So she could help you avoid it. So she could help you fight the demons.
“I’m just stressed out, Charlotte. I did lose my job.”Not an excuse.
But maybe she’ll see it as one. She’ll tell me to stop, I’ll go to some AA classes, and this will be over. This is just what I needed, Charlotte’s kick in the ass to get me back on track.
She leans forward and puts her hand on my knee, squeezing it gently. Her features have softened dramatically, and I breathe a sigh of relief as she touches me.So, she’s not too angry.“I know. And you have no idea how terrible I feel. I wish I could take all of the pain away. I wish I could fix it, but—”
I interrupt her, knowing where she’s going with this. “I know things have gotten a little out of control. But I’m done. No more drinking, I swear.”
“See, Will, that’s the thing. I don’t think it’s that simple.” Her eyes well up with tears, and in my gut, I know that somehow, she knows. She opens up her hand revealing the twelve-month chip that was in my sock drawer.
No.
Nausea bubbles to the surface making my body convulse with the need to be sick. I swallow it down, not wanting to be sick in front of Charlotte, even though if she tells me she’s leaving me she won’t be able to avoid it.
“Charley…” my voice is quiet and timid, fearing what she’s going to say next. “I love you so much.”
“You’ve been lying to me.” She pulls another tissue from the box and wipes at her eyes. My chest aches with the need to comfort her.
“I didn’t…”
“You surely haven’t been honest. I had no idea you struggled with…this. You having this chip means…” She bites her bottom lip, and her shoulders droop slightly. “When?”
“Charlotte, I was young and—”
“WHEN!?” She shoots to her feet and stares down at me. “God dammit, Will. You should have told me this. I let…” She sniffles and pulls the blanket tighter around her. “I let you spiral. I didn’t know, I didn’t see the signs until now. And now it’s too late!”
“Baby…” I stand up, trying to be closer to her and she backs up shaking her head profusely.
“No. If you touch me, I’ll crumble and I can’t afford to crumble. I have to be strong for—” She pauses and blinks the tears out of her eyes before scanning the land behind my house. “I want the truth, Will, and I want itnow.”
This is it. You have to put it all out on the line for her.
I just pray she’ll still want me after she hears it all.
“I’M SORRYIDIDN’T TELLyou,” I tell her honestly. “There were so many times I planned to, but there was so much going on between Matt and your divorce and then learning he’d planted the device and then the hearing and Audrey and…” I stand up. “I just wanted a minute alone with you with no bullshit. I wanted to be a normal couple with no problems for a little while. Is that so wrong?” I shoot her a look but she’s still staring at the chip in her hands.My chip.“Give me that.”
“Why? It doesn’t make much difference now, does it?”
Her words are like a slap in the face. I shake my head at her as I lean over the railing of my deck, not wanting to hold her gaze. “You would have been afraid of me if you knew,” I tell her quietly.
“Afraid? Why?” I can hear her moving towards me, but she’s wary as if she is slightly afraid to get near me.
“Because of your stepfather.”
She doesn’t say anything. She just stands next to me, not touching me, as she follows my gaze. She stares at the trees rustling in the wind and finally after a few moments of silence her eyes find mine. “Were you violent? I mean can you get…”
“I’ve never hit anyone, Charlotte. I would never hit you. See this is what I mean. You’re afraid of me.Me.”
“I’m not afraid but…all…” she takes a breath, “drunkssay they would never hit you when they’re sober.” Her voice is somber and it’s a punch in the gut as I think about the fact that perhaps her stepfather made those same promises in the beginning. “Things escalate. They get worse. At first, it’s a slap, or grabbing you so hard they leave a mark. It’s not always being pushed down a flight of stairs or breaking your bones.” She swallows hard. “But it’s comforting to know that you don’t have much experience with that the first time around.”
“I am not a violent person, Charley.”
“You’re notyouwhen you’ve been drinking. People with alcoholism are rarely the same person when they’re sober.The few times they are sober.Will, I just want to understand, how— you’re a counselor. You stress the importance of honesty and trusting your partner. You talk about the dangers of addiction. I just don’t understand how things spiraled. Why you kept me in the dark. I would have helped. I surely wouldn’t have been drinking around you—or at all. I certainly would never sacrifice your mental or physical health.”
“I know.”
“You knew if you told me, I would keep you accountable. You didn’t think you had a problem. Or you thought you had it under control. You were in denial.”
