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She’s leaving me.
“I’m not, though. I’m the same man you fell for,” I plead.
“Are you?” She looks up at me and it’s like a punch to the gut.
“You are breaking my heart!” I yell, as I avoid her rhetorical question
“I know. I’m breaking mine too.”
I kneel in front of her, taking her face in my hands. The tears are forming in my eyes, and I’m not even ashamed that I’m crying in front of her.Something I was told never to do. Real men don’t cry.“Please, Charley. I’ll do anything.”
She puts her hands over mine, that are still cupping her cheeks, the tears in her eyes a direct reflection of my own. “I just want you to get help.”
“I will. Tomorrow.Now. I’ll go. Please. Just stay here. I need to know that you’re here waiting for me. That you’ll be here when I get out.”
“I’ll wait for you forever,” she tells me softly, but it doesn’t soothe my shattered heart like I hoped.
“Here?”
“Will…”
“Please. I’ve lost everything…I can’t lose you too,” I beg.
“Will, you’ve taught me so much in the past seven months. But most importantly, you’ve taught me how to be strong. How to be everything I need for myself. I can’t be your only source of happiness, Will. I can’t be the only thing in your life that you love. You don’t speak to your family, I don’t know that you have many friends, and you need other people in your life that support you. You taught me how to love myself after I’d spent so long doing just the opposite. But…do you love the person you see when you look in the mirror? Do you love him as much as I do? If you don’t love yourself—how can you love me?”
“Charlotte…” I choke out, not wanting to go down this road with her.
“Your family hurt you—”
This was not the time to talk about them.“Not worse than what you’re doing.”
“Can’t you see why I’m doing this?”
“No.”Forgive me for not thinking like a counselor as you stomp all over my heart.
“Well…maybe one day, we’ll look back on this together and you’ll understand.”
“I’m going to fight for you, Charlotte.”
“I need you to fight for yourself, first.”
4:00 pm
ISOMEHOW MANAGE TO GETmyself out of Will’s house before completely breaking down. I’m barely out of sight of his townhouse before I pull the car over, the tears clouding my vision.
Oh God, what did I do?!
I look in the rearview mirror, wondering if I should turn back.
No, Charlotte. This is for the best.
But he needs me.
As much as he thinks he needs alcohol?
Space is good. Space doesn’t always translate to a breakup.
But he doesn’t have anyone else but me.
