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“It was my hope, I confess it,” Ben said.
Susan sighed. “Then be about your business, you two. I am certain I can be quite content in this room with all of these books for companions. I will still be watching the clock on the mantel, however.”
“Understood, Duchess,” Ben said. “Thank you for your trust in me.”
He took Rebecca’s cup and saucer from her and set them on the table and then offered her his hand and assisted her to her feet. “Shall we?” he asked.
Since Rebecca’s heart was now in her throat, she merely nodded.
He smiled reassuringly, although he didn’t really appear as calm and collected as he was making out to be. He led Rebecca to a dayroom down the corridor from the parlor.
“What a lovely, sunny room,” Rebecca said, trying to sound cheerful. But now that the time had come, she was fearful of what Ben might have to say to her. Would it affect her feelings for him? She had realized in her short time in London that she had lived a sheltered life in an adoring family. Others—a great deal more of them than she’d supposed, she was coming to realize—were not so fortunate.
“I chose this room to speak to you for precisely that reason. Please, sit by me, if you would.” He led her to a cozy-looking sofa upholstered in flowered damask that appeared to comfortably sit two people.
She sat, and he sat next to her and then took her hand in his. He cleared his throat, which only added to her heightened anxiety. She swallowed.
What could she do to ease the tension apparent between both of them? “You mentioned business you needed to attend to this morning. I hope all went well in that regard.” She ended her sentence like a question.
“Ah, yes,” he said, looking a bit relieved. “I met with Aylesham at the House of Lords this morning. It seems that, between you both, I was fated to return to London to see to my various responsibilities.”
“Do you consider me a responsibility?” Rebecca asked, feeling hurt.
“Not at all, no,” Ben said, taking her hand to his lips for a brief kiss. “But I have allowed my personal problems to get in the way of my life. My year of mourning has come to an end; it is time for me to reenter the world, I suppose you could say.”
Rebecca nodded, trying to understand.
“And so, my first order of business this morning was to meet with Aylesham. The second was to receive a special visitor to my home and make sure that visitor felt welcome and comfortable.”
“You are not referring to me, are you?” Rebecca said, sensing something in the tone of his voice.
“No. I sent for Rose to be brought to London. She arrived late this morning, accompanied by her nurse.”
This news was entirely welcome to Rebecca, and her heart nearly burst with joy. “Oh, I’m so glad to hear that, Ben! Lady Rose needs one of her parents near her as she grows—I know it isn’t fashionable, but I believe children need their parents in their lives to love them and teach them and nurture them. I don’t know what I would be like if I hadn’t been born into the family I was.” She uttered the words she’d just been thinking and then chided herself for being so impulsive in sharing her opinion.
“Yes, well, you were blessed to belong to a close, loving family. I envy you that. But it is not for that reason, not entirely, at least, that I have asked to speak to you alone.”
He patted her hand and then let go of it to stand and walk to the window. He stared out, his hands clasped behind him. Finally, he turned. “My dearest Rebecca, I am taking you into my confidence. You will be the only other person besides myself and one other who will know the full truth I am going to share with you. The only onesalive, that is. And I pray we will be the only people to ever have this knowledge.”
“I give you my word, Ben,” Rebecca whispered. She could barely choke the words out over the lump in her throat.
He nodded as if satisfied by her response. “You already know that my marriage was not a happy one. There was a point, actually, after Gemma spent time with her parents two Seasons ago, that I thought perhaps we might find a bit of happiness after all. I was wrong, and in fact, I was being used, as she had used me at other times in the past, to satisfy her own selfish wants and then, ultimately, to cover up her scandalous behavior. If my words sound harsh, it is because I merely speak what I know to be true.”
He looked down at his feet and then directly into Rebecca’s eyes. “Rose is not my natural daughter,” he said.
* * *
There. He’d said it. He’d spoken the words aloud for the first time ever. He planned to never utter them again, and he would deny the facts of the statement if crossed about it by anyone, especially the wastrel Hugh Mandeville.
For the past year, Ben had wondered how he felt about the circumstances surrounding Rose’s birth and whether he could ever love her or be a father to her. But after reflecting on the Jenningses’ large and loving family and the joy of the children he’d encountered at Alderwood, he had chosen to try. And then he had been resolved, especially after recognizing Mandeville last night and the conversation with him that had followed. Ben wouldnotallow the innocent little girl he’d greeted late this morning and who was currently playing with his old toys in the nursery upstairs to be handed over to the man who had used his adulterous connections to fund his lifestyle and who had set his cap on Rebecca this Season for undoubtedly the same reason. Ben suspected that Mandeville had been presuming, as others had, that her dowry would be a large one, owing to her family connection to Aylesham.
He suddenly realized that Rebecca hadn’t spoken since he’d made his pronouncement. She was sitting forward on the sofa, staring at him, looking stricken.
“Oh, Ben,” she finally whispered.
“Indeed,” he replied. “This isoursecret, yours and mine,” he said. “Gemma was apparently rather skilled at using artifice, and so no one, not even her personal maid or the midwife or doctor, suspected anything, from what I was able to discern after the fact. She let her secret slip out at the end, just a bit, although she didn’t precisely make a deathbed confession. But I have been able to put the pieces of the puzzle together, and the last piece fell into place last night.”
“Hugh Mandeville,” Rebecca said on a whisper. “Naturally, it would be him.”
