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Sarah narrows her eyes when I walk into the room. She whispers something to Tiana, who shakes her head, keeping her eyes trained to her notebook.
I take a deep breath and try to channel Ashley. “Did you have a good weekend?” I ask sweetly, stopping in front of them.
“The best.” Sarah pastes on a fake smile. “Oli and I spent the whole weekend together.”
Taking the high road and ignoring her, the corner of my lips turn up in a smirk as I take my seat. My phone buzzes with a text from Ashley and I check it under the table.Take back the power, we’re gonna make this the best year ever <3
My smirk turns into a full-blown smile.Maybe Ashley is right, this year might not be too bad after all.
“Be yourself, because the people who mind don’t matter. And the people that matter, don’t mind”
(Dr Seuss)
By Hannah Robinson
We’ve all seen the cult classic movieMean Girls, and we’ve all had moments in our lives when we have tried to figure out where we fit in the hierarchy. We’ve all had that feeling in your stomach when you the girls behind you are laughing. We become so obsessed with our appearance, our social status, with having the latest and best things, or being with the cutest boy. As we compete with our peers, we can develop low self-esteem and that can lead to being bullied.
Around one-third of Australian teenagers say they have experienced bullying at some point in their lives. Bullying is repeated behaviour by a person who seeks to belittle and intimidate another person. It is a powerplay by the bully to make the victim feel vulnerable.
Bullying comes in many different forms: physical, verbal, psychological, and cyber. The victim can feel afraid, anxious, stressed, or depressed. They can have difficulty sleeping, eating, concentrating on their schoolwork. In severe cases, it can also lead to suicidal thoughts and self-harm. Bullies lack empathy for other people. More often than not, they are insecure and bully others to make themselves feel better.
Surround yourself with people you trust and take away the bully’s power to make you feel bad about yourself. Practice confidence (fake it ‘til you make it!). Stand up for yourself, for your friends, for anyone else you see who is getting bullied. Take back the power and make a stance. Show the bullies their behaviour is not acceptable. As Albert Einstein once said, “The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.”
Don’t listen to anyone who tells you you’re not good enough. You are good enough. No one deserves to be made to feel less than who they are. In the words of Selena Gomez, “Who says you’re not star potential”?
25
Hannah and I are talking again and I’m relieved, but our interactions - both in person and over the phone - are limited and awkward for the next couple of weeks. We stick to safe topics: school, family, footy. It’s clear she still doesn’t trust me, but I’m determined to prove to her that our friendship is important to me and that I’m not going anywhere. I can’t. My feelings are even more intense after realising I nearly lost her completely because I’m such an arse. I’ll take friendship over nothing with her every day.
I tried to apologise to Joel at school, but he just body slammed me into the lockers and warned me to stay out of his way. Macca and JD gave me no sympathy when they found out what went down between me and Sarah. Macca muttered something under his breath which sounded suspiciously like, “I would’ve kicked your ass too if you’d been hooking up with my girlfriend.” I chose to ignore him because it was a fair point.
Things are better with Jake. He’s been sitting with me in his car for half an hour most nights. At first, it would take up to fifteen minutes just for me to calm my breathing enough to be able to have any type of conversation, but Jake was patient. He’d just sit and talk about school, footy, basketball – anything that would keep my mind off the accident and the nightmares. Last night, Jake and I even Facetimed Sam, and it was nice to just reconnect with my brothers. Things are finally starting to return to normal.
Now mid-April, footy season started a week ago, and I haven’t had a nightmare in over two weeks. I’ve been throwing myself into training hard and working out, trying to get my body to peak physical fitness. Most nights I fall into bed, absolutely spent. For a while there, I forgot about my goal, but I need to work hard to make sure my dream of reaching the AFL becomes a reality.
I also need to make amends to my coach and my football team. Without them, I wouldn’t even be looking at having any sort of AFL career. They’ve helped me get where I am, and all I’ve done is get drunk on weekends and bail out on them. Not great captain material.
Making my way out on to the football oval half an hour early for footy training, I grab a couple of cones to help my coach set up some of the drills. We won our first football match on the weekend, and the team seems to have forgiven me for being a douche during pre-season. I still need to apologise though. I’ve been avoiding owning up to my selfish actions, but Hannah convinced me it’s the right thing to do for the team and for myself.
“Uh oh,” Chris greets me with a chuckle. “Early to training. This must be serious.”
I hang my head and I can’t bring myself to look at my coach as I apologise. “Yeah, I’m sorry about… everything. I’ve been a bit of a jackass the last month or so. I, uh, I’ve been going through some stuff.”
Nodding, Chris’ expression turns serious. “I get you’ve had a lot going on, mate. And like I said at the start of pre-season, I’m here to help in any way that I can.” He claps me on the shoulder. “But if you’re going to make it to the AFL, you’re gonna have a lot more tough times ahead of you. Injuries, performance scrutiny, media pressures, relationships. If you don’t have your head straight now, it’s not going to get any easier. You need to decide if you’re up for that. I don’t want to take away your captaincy, but you’ve got a lot of making up to do to the team.”
I’ve got a lot of making up to do. Full stop.“I get it. I’m ready. I’m committed. Promise.”
Chris grins. “Glad to hear it. Now, you’ve got twenty minutes before the team gets here. Go hit the weights.”
After having an interrupted pre-season, I still have a fair bit of work to do to get my body match day ready. Especially after all of the drinking I’ve been doing lately. Despite winning on the weekend, it hadn’t been my best game. At least the school holidays have started so I have plenty of time to work out and get myself in peak physical condition.
I head back out to the oval when I hear Chris’ whistle blow. The team is gathered around him as he explains our first drill, and I clear my throat when he finishes. He nods at me, and I step out in front of my teammates who are studying me curiously.
“Um, I just wanted to say, I know I’ve been a bit unfocused lately and I let you guys down during pre-season, and I’m sorry.” I notice a couple of the guys looking at each other with raised eyebrows, but I ignore them and keep speaking. “A team is not just made up of one player. We work together and get the job done. I’m gonna prove to you all I’m one hundred per-cent committed to the team, and one hundred per-cent committed to being your captain.”
Macca starts clapping, calling out, “Yeah,” and the rest of the boys follow suit. They gather around me clapping me on the back, and I know that all is forgiven as we break off into groups for our first drill. If only it was that easy with Hannah. I still have a bit of work to do making it up to her.
∞
