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“You okay?” Oliver reaches back and squeezes my leg.
“Uh huh.” I nod, offering him a small smile.
As Jake drives towards town, Oliver’s grip on my leg tightens. Sweat shines on his brow, and his breathing is shallow. His eyes are wide open, staring at the road ahead of us. Placing my hand over his, I trace patterns with my finger trying to distract him, but he doesn’t turn around. He clearly isn’t over his anxiety over travelling in a vehicle, and I have no idea how to help him.
36
My back presses up against the seat, and I suck in my breath. While I force my eyes to remain open, I mentally curse that this is happening now. I made it to Hannah’s without a panic attack. I don’t want her or Jake to know they’re still happening.Damn it!
Hannah’s fingers trace patterns on the back of my hand, and I try to focus on that instead of the sound of my heart pounding echoing in my ears. Jake pulls up out the front of East End, and I pull my hand out of Hannah’s grip. I manage to mutter a quick thankyou in my brother’s direction before climbing out into the crisp, cool night air. Slamming the car door behind me, I close my eyes and wait for Hannah to join me.
“It’s okay,” she says quietly, standing in front of me. She reaches up to brush my hair back.
Opening my eyes, I’m met by the intensity of her concern sparkling back at me. I swallow and choke out, “I’m fine.”
She nods, pressing her lips against mine. Wrapping my arms around her, I breathe in her strawberry and coconut scent.
“You have no idea how hard I’m trying.” This isn’t how tonight was supposed to go. I’mnotgoing to breakdown on her in front of the club.
“I know,” she whispers, nuzzling her head into the crook of my neck.
Taking a deep breath, I squeeze Hannah’s hand, and she looks up at me. “I wish my mind wasn’t so messed up. I wanna be able to travel in a car like a normal person.”
“Oli, you went through a lot. It wasn’t just being in the car, there was your dad…” her voice trails off. “I mean, try not to think about it. It will get easier.”
I stare down at the ground. “I just wish I was normal.”
“You are.” Hannah rests her head on my chest. “I’m here for you.”
“Thanks for putting up with me.”
“You’re welcome,” she laughs.
The East End is already packed. Looking around, the males are outnumbered three to one, but that makes sense with Ashley and Hannah attending an all-girls’ school. I finally spot JD and Macca at the bar with the birthday girl. Ashley squeals, jumping up and down as we approach.
“What’re you drinking?” she asks, slurring her words slightly. “My parents put on a tab for my closest friends.”
I massage my temples as the music and the flashing lights from the DJ start to give me a headache. “I’m good with water.”
Ashley pouts. “It’s my eighteenth birthday, Oliver Johnson. You can’t drink water.” She turns to the bar tender and orders five shots.
“Ash–” Hannah starts, but I shake my head at her.One drink won’t hurt.
I line up next to them, clinking shot glasses and knocking back the sickly-sweet pink liquid that burns as it makes its way down my throat. I groan as Ashley signals for five more. After the second shot, I order a round of drinks for everyone and a water for myself.
Ashley grabs Hannah by the hand and drags her onto the dance floor. Hannah motions for us to join them, but I shake my head, laughing at their crazy dance moves to the Dua Lipa remix of Elton John’sCold Heart.
My head starts to throb, pulsating to the beat of the music, and I drain my water, ordering another one from the bartender.
“You got any Panadol back there?” I ask, sighing as she shakes her head. Motioning to the stairs that lead downstairs, I shout over the music to Macca and JD, “I’m gonna go get some fresh air.”
After pushing my way through the crowd downstairs, I make my way to the front of the club. Fresh air washes over me, and I lean up against the wall, closing my eyes as I press my head against the cold concrete. The thumping in my skull starts to ease.
Two hands wrap around my waist from behind, slipping up my shirt and resting on my stomach.
“I’m coming, babe, I just needed some fresh air.” The grin slips off my face when I turn around, coming face to face with Sarah. “What are you doing?” I snarl, unlatching her hands from my body.
Caley and Tiana are standing behind her. The latter staring at the ground while Caley holds her phone up, pointed in our direction. I scowl at her.
