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Ashley bursts into tears when Oliver and I walk into Macca’s living room. I drop on to the couch next to her, and we squeeze each other tight. This is incomprehensible. How can someone our age be here one day and gone the next? What must’ve been going through his head for him to do something like this? I know Oliver thinks he has something to do with it, but I honestly don’t believe it. There must have been other things going on for him to do something this extreme.
Oliver sits on the floor between my legs and leans his head back. I run my hands through his hair. He lets out a sigh as he closes his eyes. “What are we going to do?”
Macca scratches his head as he takes a seat on the other side of Ashley. “I don’t know, man. Maybe we can put on a movie or something?” But he doesn’t move to turn on the television. We all just sit there, quietly, lost in our own thoughts.
I don’t even register the doorbell until JD follows Macca’s younger sister, Ally, into the room. She bites her lip as she perches on an armchair in the corner of the room, wrapping a blanket around herself. JD takes a seat next to Oliver on the floor.
“Have you guys checked your social media?” he asks, rubbing his face. We all shake our heads. “Words out. Sarah posted a picture of the two of them and everyone is pretty shocked. A few of his mates have posted their own memories. It’s seriously bizarre. I still can’t believe it.”
“Sarah must be devastated,” Ally says quietly, and Oliver stiffens. “To lose her boyfriend like that. It’s horrible.”
Nobody bothers to correct her. It’s not going to do anyone any good to open up that can of worms.
Macca lets out a snort of laughter,and Ashley elbows him in the stomach. “Sorry,” he says, struggling to maintain his composure. “I was just thinking about…” he lets out another snort, nudging JD with his foot. “Do you guys remember in year nine when Joel and Raph hid a fish in the back of the cupboard in Mr Portello’s history class?”
I wrinkle my nose, but the corner of Oliver’s lip lifts into a smile, and JD is shaking with his own laughter. “Man, that was torture for a week! It was so rank in there; it was a challenge not to chunder!”
“Mr Portello went troppo when he found it. I still can’t believe no one dobbed them in.” Oliver lets out a chuckle, and I lean forward and press my lips to the top of his head. He needed this. I’m so glad we came.
“And remember last year when we were on school camp and Joel switched out the sugar for salt?” JD wipes tears of laughter from his eyes. “Ms Kinsey spat her coffee all over Mr Paige. He was so filthy.”
“I’m so surprised Joel didn’t get sent home for that,” Macca adds. “If Principal Fraser had been there, he would’ve for sure.”
“What about the interschool match against Geelong College?” Oliver looks up at Macca. “He bagged six goals that day. Ran rings around that cocky half back flanker.”
Macca nods. “Kid could play.”
The room falls silent again. There was no doubt about it. If it hadn’t been for the incident at the ANZAC day match, Oliver and Joel would both have been almost one hundred per-cent likely to be drafted. But now one of them is dead, and the other is not able to play the game anymore.
∞
Iget to school twenty minutes earlier than usual the next day and sit down on the floor leaning against my locker to wait for Tiana. We’re going to talk to Principal Fitzgerald about writing an article for the school magazine to bring awareness to the support services we have access to. With my notebook in front of me, I try to concentrate on the new article I’m writing for the school magazine, but I end up just doodling in the margins.
Girls huddle in groups, whispering about what happened to Joel. Losing someone our age to teen suicide has everyone shook. My stomach clenches, and I reach up to pull my hair tie out. Brushing my hair over my face, I rest my head on my knees. I still can’t believe this is real.
Ashley plops down on the floor, nudging me with her shoulder. “Are you okay?”
Tears pool in my eyes, and I give a small shake of my head. “I still can’t believe it,” I croak out.
“How’s Oli?”
“Not good. It’s hit him pretty hard. I stayed there last night, after we left Macca’s. It just didn’t feel right, leaving him alone.”
She rests her head on my shoulder. “I just can’t believe it.”
“I know.” I bite my lip. “I wonder what was going through his mind. Why he thought he had no other option?”
“Hey guys.” Tiana’s eyes are red and puffy.
I get to my feet and pull her in for a hug. “You ready to do this?”
Tiana shrugs. “We don’t really have a choice. It’s important.”
Ashley offers us a small smile from her seat on the floor. “You guys are amazing. I’m really proud of you.”
The receptionist leads us straight to the principal’s office and knocks on the door. I twist a loose strand of hair, shifting my weight from foot to foot as we wait. Mrs Fitzgerald calls us in, but I hesitate. I glance over at Tiana and she nods at me.We have to do this for any other kids who are feeling like Joel. This can’t happen again.I exhale as I open the door, and we step into Mrs Fitzgerald’s office.
