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“Be my Luna. It’s the only thing that can save you from punishment or exile. You know how I feel about you.”
His words hung in the air, another option for my future but what kind of future could I have here? The ghosts of my family would hang around and we both knew I wasn’t the submissive type. And Lunas were the epitome of submissive, bowing to their alpha’s whims.
“We both know that’s not the life for me, Torryn. I’m sorry, but I can’t be what you need,” I said as gently as I could manage. My options were limited here, but my standards had to remain in place. I refused to lose myself in the name of safety.
The last thing I wanted after healing from a silver bullet and losing the one person in my life I had left, was to let the men who ran this pack cover me in more fucking scars. In fact, nothing about staying here sounded like a good idea.
My decision was easy, made before I’d even given it thought.
“I choose exile.”
Torryn’s eyes bulged as he stared at me like I’d lost my mind. And maybe I had. The lone-wolf life wasn’t an easy one. I’d be a target for mating males. Packless wolves also faced weakness, we were made to be in a pack, and without one it was possible to lose your mind or your wolf.
“N-now, Vanya, don’t get hasty in your decisions,” he stuttered out, shocked by my choice. But he honestly shouldn’t have been surprised. I’d never been one to make the easy choices.
There was true pain in his expression, but it wasn’t my job to fix it. He’d chosen his path and now I would choose mine.
“I’m not,” I said evenly. “I’ll be gone before the deadline.” Most might need those twenty-four hours… I wouldn’t.
“But—” he argued again until I put a hand on his leg.
“It’s not personal, but all I know here is pain, Torryn. Ihaveto do this.” His eyes met mine and he studied me. I took a second to take in the alpha I’d known my entire life. He was five years older than me, only taking over for his father a few years ago, but he had been a friend before that. Dirty blond hair hung around his face, shaggy and falling over his pale-green eyes. He still looked tired, bags under his eyes and stubble on his usually cleanly shaven chin.
“Okay,” he said in defeat, shaking his head at my choice. In his eyes I was being stubborn and refusing to bow down to an alpha’s orders. But he knew damn well that arguing with me had never gotten him anywhere. I bared my shoulder to him, exposing the alpha bite that had made me part of this pack as a child. He sighed heavily before his fingers extended into claws. The pain was quick, a swipe over the former mark as he severed my ties to this pack, to him. His face twisted in pain, but I felt nothing. There was no dramatic pain in my chest. Hell, even the scratch had healed over already.
But it was done. I was officially a lone wolf and I wanted out of here at the soonest possible moment. There was money in my bank, and I had my trusty truck. I’d drive until I found a new place, preferably one without any fucking wolves. This world had failed me, and I was ready to leave it behind.
Standing, I brushed off the dirt on my jeans before walking away from my former alpha, not bothering to look back this time.
* * *
Walking through town,I couldn’t help but feel a small twinge of sadness for the few good people I’d be leaving behind. There was a history here, but I was done living with the past.
As I passed the mess hall, Harlan poked his head out. “Vanya, I’ve got food for you.”
“Thanks,” I said, giving him a sad smile. “I’ll take it with me if that’s okay?”
“Of course. Stella is inside,” he said, gesturing for me to come in. His kind eyes followed my slow walk as I came closer. This was the one goodbye I wasn’t looking forward to, but one that had to happen.
Harlan knew something was wrong, his eyebrows dipping down in concern as he stopped in the dining area. His silver hair was braided down his back like usual, apron tied to his front, he was the picture of adorable grandpa figure and I genuinely hated having to say goodbye.
“Good, I need to tell you both something,” I explained as I stopped next to him. It was thankfully empty in the mess hall for now, aside from Stella who was shaking her leg anxiously as she gazed out the window. The sound of our footsteps snapped her out of it and she breathed out a sigh of relief.
“Vanya.”
“I’m sorry, Stella,” I said, tears threatening to fall again which was driving me crazy. Weakness was frowned upon, we didn’t cry easily, and I honestly hadn’t since my mom died. “I chose exile.”
“No,” she gasped, clutching her chest in horror. “But you’ll be a lone wolf.”
“I will,” I agreed. “But you have to know I can’t stay here, and I’m not willing to submit to punishment. I won’t apologize for protecting Meira with my life. I’ve taken far too many claws in my life, and this isn’t one that I’m going to let happen.”
“We understand,” Harlan agreed. Even he sounded sad, and he gathered me in a tight hug before passing me off to Stella who was waiting for her turn. “If you ever want to come back, you come back. You hear me?”
“I do.” I laughed through my tears. “Thank you for all you did for us, for me.” It was a pretty lie; we both knew I likely wouldn’t be back. But someday, maybe I’d find the courage to visit.
“Always, sweet girl,” Stella said as she gave my arm a pat and Harlan handed over a bag of food. The conversation went about as pleasantly as I expected, poor Stella fighting off tears. I walked out without another word, knowing everything from here would make it worse.
Now that the ties were severed, I felt nothing for my former pack lands. The cabins held no meaning, the people I passed I could barely name. I hadn’t realized how detached I’d been until this moment, but it made this all so much easier. This wasn’t my home and hadn’t been for many years, it was only a matter of time before I moved on. I’d just always thought Meira would come with me.
