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“I never wanted that,” he admitted. “I wanted you and that bothered me.”
“Why, because I’m that fucking gross to you?” I growled, fighting against him again. My emotions were too far past rational now and I saw red, hating that this man only saw the worst sides of me.
“No,” he bit out. “Because if you turned out to be who I thought you were, then I risked getting rejected again.”
That had me stopping, gazing up at him. My chest heaved from exertion, but I still tried to make sense of what he was saying to me.
“Who you thought I was?” My voice wavered this time and I gritted my teeth so tightly to stop it that they ached.
“This,” he said like that explained it all. “A woman with fight and fire. Someone who could match my harsh exterior and passion. But someone who could see beyond that, someone who cared about more than status and appearances.”
“So you treated me like shit?” I asked incredulously. My hands were still trapped in his but I was no longer fighting so we probably looked ridiculous to outsiders.
“I did, I tried to push you away before you could ruin me,” he admitted. There was so much vulnerability in his voice, and it cracked me a little, though I still didn’t forgive him.
“And you think I’ll forgive you that easily?” I asked. “Now that you’ve finally heard how shitty my life was, or at least one part of it, and that it’ll all be better now?”
“No,” he sighed. “I don’t think it’s that easy. I’m just answering your questions and trying to get you to stop hurting yourself.”
Now that he said it, my knuckles flared in pain again. This time when I pulled my hands away, he let me go. I cradled it to my chest and took a few measured breaths.
“Everything okay over here?” Nyx’s voice called out. We turned to see him and Callum coming our way.
“Sorry, Alpha,” I said. “It’s just still a bit fresh.”
“What happened?” Nyx asked, coming over and pulling my hand free. Parts had started to scab over but I wasn’t healing fast enough to stop the pain.
“I lost a fight with a tree trunk,” I admitted in a false, cheerful tone.
“You can’t just shift and heal, there’s bark in this,” Nyx grumbled, pulling me with him as he sat on the ground and started picking out chunks of jagged wood from the wound. Clearly they didn’t find me funny. Truth be told, neither did I. “Someone go get a bottle of water.”
Leven was the one to walk away and Callum stood over us, watching but not saying anything. I was just relieved they weren’t judging me for being weak, but I was quickly learning that this pack didn’t hold the same morals and standards the rest of the wolf world did.
Leven was back within a minute, out of breath. He handed it over and Nyx opened it before moving my hand over the grass instead of his pants before pouring it over the cut. He worked quickly, cleaning it to his satisfaction before standing.
“Shift and heal,” he ordered. Something in his tone had me standing and reaching out for him.
“Hey, I’m sorry,” I told him gently. “I’m not usually this reckless. Emotions are just… hard.”
“It’s not that,” he said, pulling me in. “I don’t want to see you bleeding, but I’m also so fucking mad that you’ve been hurt this badly. I thought it was bad before, but this is so much worse.”
“But I’m here now and it won’t happen again, right?” He nodded against me before finally letting me go. “Come on, go see what Antonio found while I shift and heal.”
They walked away, though it was a bit reluctantly. Three men who were so vastly different, yet equally as intoxicating. I’d never imagined ending up here, now I wanted nothing more than to hide within these walls forever, pretend trackers and the real world didn’t exist. But I also refused to hide away like a damsel in distress. No, I’d help these men find this tracker and then I’d figure out how to make sense of my love life. Because right now it was too complicated to deal with.
ChapterFifteen
Vanya
I’d never been on a date before. So going on one with Callum had me freaking out. My makeup was done, hair straightened and fixed to perfection. But clothes were an issue. I was in dire need of more but hadn’t had time to get any. They weren’t exactly top priority lately. And even if he’d see me naked anyway because we had to strip to go on a run, I was still debating on what to wear.
Another twenty minutes and I’d pulled on my favorite blue off-the-shoulder long sleeved crop top and leather pants. They were soft on the inside and flexible, perfect for an easy change out in the woods and still cute as hell.
I walked out of the small bedroom right as the doorbell chimed through the house. Leven was quicker than me, rushing forward and doing a double take as he passed, nearly crashing into the couch. Clearly I’d chosen well.
“Damn, and I did this to myself,” Leven cursed as he opened the door. “I hate you.” Callum barked out a surprised laugh as he pushed past, then saw me and grinned.
“You look amazing, little wolf,” he praised. His eyes slowly raked down my body, laughing again when he saw the combat boots I’d gone with. “I love that.”
