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“We were so fucking close,” I screamed into the void. It was loud enough that the others winced but it held every bit of self-loathing and frustration that was in my soul. Needing to expel the energy before I spontaneously shifted, I slammed my hand into the wall. Blood poured out of the wound, but it didn’t stop me from doing it again and again.
“Dude, you have to stop punching shit when you’re freaking out!” Nyx exclaimed as he ran out of the room. He came back moments later with a roll of gauze. “At least this time I don’t have to pull bark out of it.” He started wrapping it but was forced to walk with me when I didn’t stop moving. I couldn’t. If I did, I’d be forced to face the pain from the gaping hole in my chest or the self-hate that was quickly swirling through my head.
“He had her right here. I could have fucking saved her,” I continued like none of that just happened.
“You couldn’t save anyone, Vanya. You arrived and she was already gone. They left before we escaped,” Holt said. I shot him a glare and he held up his hands in defense. “Listen, I’m not going to sugarcoat shit, Vanya, that place was hell and he is always a step ahead somehow.”
“It’s probably all connected,” Callum said. The sigh of defeat that followed had me slowing down, poor Nyx nearly slammed into me but caught himself at the last second before sending us both toppling over. Then he finished wrapping my hand now that there was a moment of stillness.
“What the fuck do you mean?” I asked. My tone was harsh but he just eyed me carefully.
“You had the tracker following you from the start. The same one we found dead in that basement,” he pointed out. “Meeting you at the bar was no mistake.”
“But why?” I demanded, turning to Torryn. “Do you know anything?”
Torryn flinched like I slapped him. “No, I didn’t send him to you. I wouldn’t do that.”
“No, you’d just tell the elders to,” Leven commented, the tension rising even further.
“So then it was my fault,” I went on like they weren’t fighting. I no longer had the energy to get between stubborn wolves. At least not at the moment. “He just chose me and attacked my sister as well?”
“Or tracked you to tie up loose ends and she was just unlucky?” Torryn challenged. “He’s collecting wolves from all over the US, it might not be that personal. They didn’t expect you to live but you were too stubborn to die.” He said the last part with pride, and I snorted, shaking my head, but I couldn’t exactly argue.
“I hate to agree with him, but that’s very likely,” Nyx pointed out. “They were snatching anyone they thought of as ‘mate’ worthy.”
“He kept you in a cage like a fucking animal because of me then,” I said with a sigh as my eyes met Callum’s.
“You have to stop,” Callum argued. “Holt was there before we even knew of all this. Your sister was targeted first, and then you hit their radar. None of this is on you. You can’t take responsibility for their fucking actions.”
“She wasn’t caged like us, either. You defied him so she became more interesting,” Holt added. “You likely saved her from that hell. She wasn’t forced to try and fuck her way through the entirety of the guard.”
“Not helping,” Nyx groaned as he put a hand over his face.
“I’m pretty sure she appreciates my honesty,” Holt said with an unapologetic shrug.
“I do,” I agreed. “But I don’t want to think about what she’s been through. It might break me.”
“It nearly broke me,” Holt admitted in a voice so quiet I don’t think it was meant for me, but I stopped in front of him and pulled him into a hug. It was strange how good it felt to hold him, to connect with him, but my mind was so angry right now, I couldn’t enjoy it.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled in his ear. “I’m not trying to make this worse.”
“You’re not,” he promised. “No matter how we spin any of this, it’s fucked up.”
Leven stood up and took me from Holt’s arms into his own, careful of my arm. “We’ll get her back to you. We’re not stopping the search. This isn’t over until that alpha is dead.”
“And that was only one wave of prisoners. There’s more,” Nyx added. Our voices sounded so haunted, but with everything we had witnessed lately it was unavoidable. I couldn’t help but wonder if I hadn’t come here, would they have had to face all this hell still?
“I need a minute,” I said as I made a hasty retreat. My pulse pounded in my ears as I stormed out of the compound, not caring who I almost knocked down on the way. I didn’t bother to shift, wanting to feel the burn in my muscles as I pushed my body to the limits. I’m sure I looked insane as fuck, but I also didn’t give a single fuck.
Footsteps fell into step beside me, and I glanced over to see Torryn. He didn’t speak or push me, just simply ran beside me. His silent camaraderie was exactly what I needed. At least at the moment.
After another lap, I realized I needed more than that. Thinking of how Callum had fucked me against the tree back home, I knew exactly what it was. Torryn was going to have to help me fuck this out, make me forget, and I had a feeling he would not be complaining.
We rounded the corner heading toward the storage sheds. I stopped abruptly, startling him but he didn’t protest when I pulled him inside and closed the door.
“Uh, Vanya—” I cut him off by slamming my lips into his and ripping at his clothes. He helped me take mine off before kicking off his as well. “This was unexpected.”
“Just shut up and fuck me. This isn’t going to be a sweet reunion, Torryn. I need you to take me hard and fast,” I growled. He didn’t respond as he spun me around. I braced my hands against the wall as he kicked my legs apart. One of his hands wrapped around my body, traveling up to grip my throat just tight enough to stop my whirling thoughts. His other hand snaked around to tease my clit, working me over roughly, until I was dripping wet and ready for him.
