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Still, he granted her request, heading to his home office to try and busy his mind. The attempt didn’t work, though. He stared at the same file for all of forty-five minutes before the sound of Faith vomiting gained his attention.
Making his way down the hall toward the kitchen, he grabbed a bottle of Gatorade out of the refrigerator and a pack of crackers and headed to their bedroom. By the time he made it, Faith was brushing her teeth. Setting the items on the nightstand next to her side of the bed, he asked, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she muttered, slowly walking back into the bedroom. Plopping down on the bed, she told him, “My legs are killing me.”
The water in her eyes made his whole heart ache. “I’ll get you some hot towels. Do you want some pain medicine as well?”
Her head shook as her tears began to fall. With haste, Sincere stood and headed to the bathroom. It didn’t surprise him that her legs were hurting because she had nerve damage in them and her hands from her previous bouts with chemo. As quickly as he could, he soaked two big towels in hot water, then covered her feet with them. Doctor Ryan expressed getting her feet warm would help remove the pain from her legs, but as she began to groan, Sincere knew that wasn’t the case.
“You need to take some Advil.”
“That’s not going to help,” she whined, wiping her face.
Getting into bed, Sincere pulled her into his arms as she sobbed. With tears running down his face, he prayed… unsure how much of her pain he could take. It was eating at his pride already to not be able to heal her or make her feel better. God was going to have to come through for the both of them in a major way…
* * *
Sincere didn’t want to,but Faith convinced him to head out for the evening. He’d spent the entire weekend tending to her every need, and she wanted him to have some time to himself before he went back to work in the morning. Even though he didn’t want to leave her alone, Sincere was aware of the fact that space would be best for the both of them, so he went to the Mexican restaurant he and his cousins frequented for a few drinks.
Sincere didn’t realize how much he’d zoned out until West called him out on it. With a chuckle and soft shake of his head, Sincere said, “My fault. What were you saying?”
“I was asking if you’d been able to look over that contract I sent you. I know it’s not your area of expertise but…”
“Yeah, no. I’ll get to it in the morning, though. When are they expecting an answer?”
“Wednesday.”
Sincere nodded as he lifted his bottle of beer and took a swig. “I’ll have some feedback for you before then.” His hand slid down his face as he yawned.
“How you holding up?” Brandon, his closest cousin, checked.
“He looking bad as fuck,” Omar teased.
Sincere laughed, but that wasn’t too far off from the truth. “Shit, I’m maintaining,” he replied with a shrug. It really didn’t feel right complaining about his lack of rest when his wife was facing what she was facing.
“How’s Faith doing?” West asked. “I can’t imagine how hard this is for the both of you.”
“She’s a soldier. The only time she really breaks down is when she has pain in her hands and legs because of the neuropathy, but she handles everything else like a G.” His head shook as he confessed quietly, “I’m the one be ’bout to break when she going through it.”
“That’s understandable,” Brandon assured. “No real man wants to see his woman suffer.”
“Especially when it’s with something he can’t fix,” Omar added.
“That’s the biggest thing for me, you feel me? I get mad as fuck while she’s in pain, knowing there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. I wish I could deal with this for her, but it’s out of my hands. All I can do is try to make her as comfortable as possible, and half the time, she don’t even be wanting me around.”
“She probably don’t want you to see her like that,” Brandon suggested. “That’s how Mama was when she had cancer.”
“Yeah, and Uncle Luke was the opposite. He was a big ass baby. People react to pain and suffering differently.”
Sincere sighed as his head shook. “I just want to be there for my wife, but I don’t want to feel like I’m being a burden. Then, I know her ex left her and wasn’t really there for her while they were together, so that’s at the front of my mind too. I don’t ever want her to feel like I’m him, but it’s hard because of how much she wants space.”
“That might be why he wasn’t there,” Omar considered.
Sincere shrugged but remained silent for a moment. He’d been considering that as an option now too. There were always three sides to a story, each person’s perspective and the truth. Faith had only been on chemo for a month now, and he was already starting to understand why Jaxon was feeling some of the ways he was feeling. Still, he would never turn his back on his wife or cheat on her when she needed him most. He’d stuff his feelings inside until it was safe for him to release them. Right now, his main focus was his wife, and that would remain the case until she beat cancer for the fourth time.
7
Faith
