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“What? You’re finally getting off your birth control to give me a godbaby?”
Faith’s head shook as she smiled softly. “No, nothing like that.” She paused. “The cancer is back, Keesh.”
Clutching her chest, Keisha’s head shook as her eyes watered. “Nooo,” she whined, arm stretching across the table.
Faith placed her hand inside, mouth twisting to the side as she nodded. “Yes.”
“I’msosorry, sis. Fuck cancer.”
Faith chuckled softly. “I swear.”
“It’s cool, though. You’re a fighter, and you’re going to beat it again. This shit will not keep you down, no matter how hard it keeps trying.”
Casually removing her hand, Faith looked away. “I’m… I’m not exactly sure I’m going to fight it this time, sis.”
“What do you mean?”
“When I first found out, I didn’t even want to consider chemo or surgery.” Faith returned her eyes to Keisha’s. “But Sin was so devastated by my decision that I’m considering it now.”
“If you don’t fight it, what are your chances?”
“Well, it’s stage two now. I know my body well enough to know when something isn’t right. I’ve been sick for about seven months now but I’ve just put off going to see about myself. It’s probably been about a year. So, I don’t know. Depending on if it spreads, I could live for a few years without treatment. My old support partner, her father-in-law, lived for sixteen years with it. But I’ve also heard of people not making it past year five. And those who battled clots and infections had even less time.”
Keisha released a low sigh. Her expression had grown sad, and Faith was starting to hate telling her so early in their evening.
“You know I don’t want to lose you.” Faith nodded. “But whatever you decide… I guess we will have to accept. It won’t be easy, though.”
“I know, and I’m sorry to have to put you all through this.”
She smiled with a shake of her head. “You have nothing to apologize for. This isn’t your doing or your choice.”
Faith needed that reassurance. She’d been doing everything in her power to live a healthy life, but it still seemed as if her body was set on betraying her. Keisha was easy, as Faith expected. Now, she had to tell her parents… and that was going to be the toughest conversation of all.
6
Sincere was unsure of what to expect when Faith made it back. After telling her parents that the cancer had returned, they took it as hard as she thought they would. She may have been able to go against everyone else in her life, but she wasn’t strong enough to go against her parents. There was something about watching your mother cry and curse God for making her have to bury her child that made you want to do whatever you could to keep that from becoming a reality… which was why Faith had agreed to one round of chemo.
As happy as Sincere wanted to be, he couldn’t ignore all the conversations he’d had with his wife up until that point, and how adamant she had been about not wanting to go through that again. Since he’d promised to be by her side no matter what she chose, all Sincere could do was be grateful that she’d agreed. There may not have been a guarantee that it would work as it had done in the past, but he was just glad she was trying.
Though he’d tried to go to her first session with her, Faith was against it. Because of that, Sincere had been pacing like a mad man, waiting for her to arrive. She’d already tried to prepare him for how things would go, insisting that he not take anything she said or did while in pain personally, but that was the least of his concerns.
When she did make it home, he could tell by her expression that she was drained. Her eyes were low and void of the happiness they usually held. Faith’s walk was a slow wobble that broke his heart with each step she took. Sincere kept telling himself that this was what it would take to make her better, and that was the only thing that kept him from telling her not to go back to the clinic again.
“What can I do?” he asked quietly, following her into the bedroom like a lost puppy.
“Nothing, baby. I just want to get in the bed.”
“Okay. What are you going to want to eat for dinner?”
“Nothing. It’ll just come back up.”
Sincere nodded, walking around her quickly to remove the pillows on her side of the bed. Once he had the comforter pulled back, he helped Faith undress and get inside.
“Do you want space or for me to be in here with you?”
“Space,” she requested with a grimace. “That might change soon, though. If it does, I’ll just call you.”
“Okay,” he agreed unwillingly, feeling powerless even more for not being at her side.
