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If I thought I had been hurt before, if I thought I felt pain before, it was nothing compared to the agony searing its way through my chest, and quickly spreading to the rest of my body.
I beat on her door again. And again. And again. Begging her to hear me out, to let me explain, to forgive me, but in truth, I’m not sure she’s even listening.
I stand there for so long, knocking on her door, pouring my heart out for every fucking person on her floor to hear, that eventually security shows up to escort me out. And let’s just say, I don’t go easily.
In fact, by the time they get me out of the elevator, I’m so hot, that if not for Micah stepping in, I’d likely have ended up with my ass in a jail cell for the night.
But I don’t care.
I don’t care about a single fucking thing except for her.
I finally found what I had unknowingly been searching for my whole life, and just like that, I lost her.
In one split second, the future that seemed to shine so bright, is now rubble at my feet. And I have no idea what to do next.
For the first time in my thirty-seven years on this earth, I can’t see a way forward. I can’t see anything pasther…
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I hear Kat’s voice seconds before the blankets are ripped off of me.
“What the fuck, Kat?” I groan, my head feeling about ten times its normal weight when I try to lift it off the pillow.
“What the fuck is right. You were supposed to be on set two hours ago.”
“I’m not going.” I throw my arm over my face after rolling to my back.
“Yes, you are. Harold rearranged the entire schedule to accommodate your meltdown but he can’t postpone your scenes. The world doesn’t stop spinning because you’re hurting.”
“Well it fucking should!” I scream, pain pounding through my head.
Fuck.
How much did I drink last night?
“If you’re that broken up over Clarke, go talk to her.”
“I can’t!” I abruptly sit up, my stomach twisting something awful. “I can’t.” The words break in my throat. “She won’t see me.”
“Have you tried?”
“Have I tried?” I let out a pitiful laugh. “I’ve done nothing but try for the last week. She won’t answer my calls, my texts, nothing. Hell, I’ve been banned from her building. They won’t even let me in the front door.”
The pain in my head is nothing compared to the one in my chest. It’s been a constant, consuming ache that I can’t seem to shake, no matter how hard I try, or how much alcohol I drink.
“Can you blame her?”
“Don’t fucking come at me like that. You and Helen are the ones that cooked this shit up, not me.”
“It doesn’t matter whose idea it was. The point is, you went through with it. No one had any idea this might happen. Have you met you? You falling for this girl was the least of my concerns going into this. Or do you not recall that the day after your first date I had to throw one of your whores out of your hotel room?”
“Kat,” I groan again.
I know it happened. I knowIwas that man. But it feels like a lifetime ago. That’s how much Clarke has changed me. How much she’s changedeverything.
“Do you truly love this girl?” Her voice softens.
“You know I do.”
“Then fight for her. Because I can promise you this, if you sit in this house drinking away your sorrows, along with what’s left of your career, you’ll never get her back. But if you pull yourself together and make an effort.” She shrugs. “Who knows what might happen.”
