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I’ve dreamt of this moment—wished for it, prayed for it—but never truly believed it would ever be again.
Sebastian is sitting next to me in the sand, his jeans rolled up to his knees as the water washes up over our feet.
We’ve been sitting out here for hours. At first, we talked—a lot. We talked about college and friends. We talked about Bennett and some of the girls of Sebastian’s past. It wasn’t an easy conversation, but it was a necessary one. In order to fully put the past behind us, we had to lay it all on the table. The more we talked the more we seemed to understand the other person’s stance on things.
I understood why Sebastian did what he did all those years ago. That he was trying to do what he thought was right. In a lot of ways, I think he feared he would hold me back when in reality he was always the one who propelled me forward.
He understood why I spent years trying to convince myself that I didn’t need him, that I didn’t love him. Truthfully, I didn’t even realize it was happening. I didn’t see it at the time, but every move I made was an intentional one; one that placed me further away from Sebastian and therefore further away from the pain I knew he was capable of inflicting.
All those wasted years. All this time we could’ve been together. I want to regret it. I want to hate myself for making the choices I did, but I simply can’t do that. Because had we forced it, had we stayed together through time and distance, there’s no telling where we would be now.
Don’t get me wrong, there are certain things I regret. Hurting Bennett. Hurting Sebastian. Hurting myself. But I’d do it all over again if it meant that this is where I would find myself at the end of it all, sitting on this beach with Sebastian by my side.
Beyond all the hurt, beyond all the arguments and doubts, one thing has always remained true even when I was too stubborn to see it. Sebastian was never a choice. It wasn’t a matter of choosing him or not choosing him; I had already given him my heart years ago. I just needed to open my eyes wide enough to see it.
“So...” I say, watching another wave wash up on the shore, the water barely reaching my feet before being pulled back in.
“So…” Sebastian repeats next to me, bringing a smile to my face.
“What do we do now?” I ask, flipping my gaze to him.
I have every intention of adding to the question, but the instant my eyes find his everything else just vanishes in the light breeze that dances around us.
I swear I’ve never seen a more breathtaking sight.
Sebastian, his face cast in a beautiful orange glow from the setting sun. It’s in this moment that I realize something I wish I would’ve realized a long time ago. It doesn’t matter what happens next. As long as this man is by my side I will take whatever life throws my way.
“No idea.” Sebastian chuckles next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as he pulls me closer. “I guess we’ll just have to see where the night ends.”
And just like our past, so begins our future. A promise of what’s to come. A reminder of what has passed. And even though days ago I thought our love story was over, I know now that it’s really only just beginning.
Because it’s not about where the night begins. It’s not about the struggle or the uncertainty along the way. It’s not about the past or the years we spent hurting each other.
It’s about where we end up after it’s all said and done. It’s about sitting here with Sebastian on this beach knowing that I will never love another person the way I love him.
It’s about knowing that this time it’s forever…
It’s about where the night ends.
