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“There’s no winning or losing here, Court. I’ve already lost. He made sure of that when he shacked up with Taylor Davies, and the whole school knew about it before me.”
I don’t mention the fact that he made sure to include that I’m a stuck-up prude virgin to the rumor mill. Virgin, yes. Prude or stuck up—not in the least. I want to experience all the things my friends already have. I want to know what all the fuss is about. But I also refuse to just give it away to the first guy who looks my way. Dylan clearly didn’t understand this, hence why six months into our relationship he found himself a girl who was willing to open her legs without a second thought.
Being my first real relationship, I didn’t take our break up well. I think it was more about how humiliated I felt than it was the actual fact of losing him. I won’t lie and say I’m not jealous of how quickly he moved on or hurt by how easily he dropped me, but it’s more about my own pride now than anything else.
“Screw Dylan!” Courtney throws her hands up in frustration. “You should be out there showing him all the reasons why he epically fucked up and not sitting here letting him think that he got the last laugh.”
“And I’m supposed to do that how? By dressing up and prancing around like everything is great?” I cross my arms in front of myself.
“That’s exactly what you’re supposed to do. Fake it till you make it, Tess. You, of all people, should understand that. You’re the one who preached it to me for months after my parents’ split up. If it wasn’t for you, I’d have been a hot mess. But you didn’t let me wallow. You didn’t let me sit around feeling sorry for myself. You forced me to get out of the house. And if it wasn’t for that, I never would have met Ant,” she says.
“And how’s that working out for you?” I question sarcastically.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’m just saying, Court, you’ve spent all summer following him around like a lost pup, and the boy hasn’t even had the decency to make you his official girlfriend. I think it’s pretty safe to say he’s stringing you along.”
“Oh, so now not only are you in the business of being a sorry sap, but you’re also determined to tear everyone else down with you?” she snaps, my choice of words clearly hitting a sensitive subject with her.
I can tell by the look on her face that I’ve crossed the line. She’s right, who am I to piss on other people’s parades. If their arrangement works for her then who am I to judge?
“I’m sorry, Court. I don’t know why I said that.”
“Look, I get that things haven’t been easy for you these past few weeks, but the best way to get over it is to get back out there. Which is why you’re coming to this party with me,” she states matter of fact. “Now get your ass back in that closet and find something to wear that will have Dylan questioning why he ever let you go.”
“I don’t think a cute outfit will make a difference. Besides, I don’t care what he thinks anymore. He made his choice.”
“Then show him you don’t care and come with me. I’m not taking no for an answer.”
“I don’t know,” I waver, thinking over everything she’s just said.
“Please, Tess.” She sticks out her lower lip. “I’m not above begging.”
Truth be told, a night out doesn’t sound like the end of the world. Courtney’s right, ever since Dylan and I broke up I’ve been hiding out. But that doesn’t mean the thought of seeing him doesn’t make me nauseous. Like she said, everyone who’s anyone will be there, and Dylan never misses out on a good party. I know with complete certainty that if I go there, I will most definitely see him.
It’s one thing to know I’ll have to see him in the hallways when school starts next week. It’s another thing completely to have to face him in a social setting.
I weigh the pros and the cons in my head. If I don’t go, it will only further solidify to Dylan and the rest of my friends and classmates that I’m still hung up on what he did to me. And while that’s somewhat true, it doesn’t mean I want him to know that.
“Fine.” I finally cave, knowing there’s no way she’s going to let me get out of this anyway.
She squeals in delight and instantly jumps up, making a beeline for my closet
“But I’m picking out my own outfit,” I quickly add, knowing if I leave it up to her she’ll have me dressed like a teenager in heat.
“Spoilsport,” she whines when I join her in front of my closet.
***
I’ve never been to Sebastian’s house. From what I’ve heard it’s something to be seen but nothing could’ve prepared me for the expansive property that is laid out before me. By the time Courtney maneuvers the long driveway up, I feel like we’ve entered an entirely different world. House is an understatement. This place is more like a mansion.
Sitting on a large wooded lot, there isn’t a neighbor around for miles. No wonder everyone says this is the best place to party—it’s likely you could have a live band outside and not a soul would know what was happening.
“You ready?” Courtney gives me a reassuring smile seconds after killing the engine to her small Civic.
I’m still not entirely sure why I let her talk me into this.
“As I’ll ever be.” I let out a slow exhale before reaching for the door handle.
