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“I know.” I let out an audible sigh. “It’s just hard right now.”
“And Sebastian? Any word?”
“Nothing.” The tears form without warning, and once again I’m left trying to blink them down without allowing them to spill over.
Sensing my shift, Courtney is off the counter and on the other side of me in five seconds flat.
“Hey.” She drops her arm over my shoulder while Bree wraps hers around my waist, both squeezing me. “At least you still have us,” she offers, bumping her hip against mine. “And tonight, we’re going to forget all about prom and boys. We’re gonna catch a little buzz.” Bree clears her throat at Courtney’s words. “Okay, you and I are.” Court grins, taking a small step backward. “Preggers over here is just going to have to observe and be jealous.”
“I don’t know if drinking is a good idea right now. You’re likely to have a sobbing mess on your hands if you pump me full of vodka,” I object.
“I think we’re going to have a sobbing mess on our hands regardless. Better to have you a little inebriated.” She winks. “And we didn’t just bring your favorite pizza either.” She stalks over to the table and dumps out the bag Bree set there moments earlier littering the table with chips, candy, and my absolute favorite—
cinnamon butter popcorn. “Did we do good or what?”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you girls,” I admit, feeling like I can breathe just a tiny bit easier.
“Lucky for you, you won’t ever have to find out.” Bree throws some veggies in a baggie and drops them into my mom’s lunchbox just as I finish making her sandwich. “You’ll always have us. No matter what,” she states matter of fact.
“I’m gonna hold you to that ya know,” I say, zipping up the lunchbox before turning to face her, taking her belly in my hands. “And this little one is going to be spoiled rotten by his aunty Tess, even if he is three thousand miles away.”
“It won’t be so bad,” Bree says, looking down at my hands on her belly and then back up to meet my gaze. “You’ll see.”
“I still can’t believe your ass is leaving us. Senior year just won’t be the same without you,” Courtney says, stepping up next to us.
All three of us share a silent moment where we just kind of take it all in. Each of us looking back and forth between the others, fully aware that everything is about to change and that this time—this moment—is something we’ll never get back.
***
My mom left for work shortly after Courtney and Bree arrived. While she still hasn’t given me my phone back, she’s been pretty trusting that I won’t go see Sebastian while she’s at work.
I think she can tell by the way I’ve been sulking around the house that things haven’t gone the way I wanted them to, but I have yet to actually confirm with her that we’ve officially broken up. In some weird way, I don’t want to give her that satisfaction. Though I highly doubt she’d gain anything from it.
She’s my mom, and I know she hates how badly I’m hurting right now. And while I still blame her in large part, I also know I can’t stay mad at her forever. Deep down I know she’s just doing what she thinks is right.
“So what’s up with you and Anthony anyway?” I finally return to the comment Courtney made earlier.
Sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor with my two best friends, talking and laughing over the last hour, has dramatically improved my mood. Of course, the vodka and pizza helped, too.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach is still there, but the buzz of the alcohol and the company makes it a little easier to ignore.
“He’s been really distant recently,” Court finally speaks after a long moment. “I honestly don’t know what’s going on with him. It’s like ever since you and Sebastian broke up he’s been making excuses not to spend time with me. Obviously, he’s been sitting with Sebastian at lunch again. At first, I just thought it was the transition. You know, he felt like he needed to be there for his friend, but now I’m thinking it’s something more.”
“I’m so sorry, Court,” I mutter, feeling suddenly responsible for her issues on top of my own.
“Don’t you dare.” She wags a finger at me, taking a long pull from the vodka before shoving it into my hand. “This is not your fault. Things haven’t been that great with us recently if I’m being honest. I can’t help but feel like if it wasn’t for you and Sebastian being together, we would’ve broken up weeks ago. Now that you guys aren’t,” she gives me an apologetic look, “I can’t help but wonder how much longer we have.”
“I didn’t realize you guys were having problems.” I take a drink of vodka, cringing at the disgusting taste as it burns a trail down my throat.
“No one really knows.” She shrugs.
“You know, for supposedly telling each other everything, we sure do keep a lot to ourselves,” Bree observes, finishing off another slice of pizza.
Thinking over her comment, I can’t help but agree. First, it was me, keeping my new relationship with Sebastian kind of hush hush in the beginning. Then it was Bree and the whole Blake/pregnancy fiasco, and now Courtney with her relationship problems. Seems we all have trouble opening up about certain things.
“Speaking of that.” Court turns her gaze to Bree. “How’s the Blake situation?”
“There is no situation. He’s barely looked at me in months.” She shrugs.
