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It’s funny how quickly your life can change. One minute I’m dress shopping with my best friends in preparation of my first prom, the next I’m sitting on my bedroom floor looking at my beautiful dress hanging on the back of my closet door knowing that I’ll probably never get to wear it.
I have no intention of going to prom tonight, without Sebastian there’s really no point. And considering he’s done everything in his power to avoid me since our “break up” last Wednesday, I’m not really sure I want to see him anyway.
Okay, that’s a lie. A big, fat, stupid lie that I’ve tried to convince myself of all day. Truth is, I’m terrified that if I go he won’t be there or worse, he’ll be there with another girl. Just the thought makes me want to throw up.
I shake it off, knowing there’s no way he would do that to me. But then again, do I really know what he’s capable of after this past week? For all I know he would flaunt some girl in front of me just to drive home the point that we’re over.
I swipe at a tear that manages to escape my eye, angry with myself for not being able to just move on the way he seems to have.
It’s like he just snapped his fingers and his world reset back to before we were together. I pass him in the hallway, and he doesn’t even look up at me. It’s like I never existed.
He rejoined his old lunch table, which has proven to be the hardest part of my day to get through. Watching him across the room laugh and cut up with his football buddies and various girls like he doesn’t have a care in the world is some sick and cruel torture I shouldn’t be forced to endure. After all, I didn’t do anything to deserve any of this, and yet he has this way of making me feel like I brought it all on myself.
Hell, maybe I did.
I should’ve followed my gut a long time ago. The one that told me to steer clear. But even knowing what I know now and hurting the way I am, I can’t bring myself to regret my time with Sebastian.
He may be putting on a good act, convincing everyone that he’s happy and free once again, but I see through it. Because deep down I know Sebastian at his core, and I know this is his sorry attempt to make me hate him, to push me away. I wish it wasn’t working… Or maybe I wish it was working better…
God, my emotions are so all over the place I can’t even get a real grasp on how I feel anymore. But the one thing I can grasp, the one feeling that is the most prominent is sadness. I try to refocus it, hone in on the anger I know is building there behind the pain, but at the end of the day, it always comes back to the gaping wound in my chest where my heart used to be. The splintering pain that only seems to increase with each day that passes.
I wish I could turn it off. I wish I could find some sense of the person I was before Sebastian, but I’m not even sure that girl exists anymore.
I jump when I hear the doorbell ring, not expecting company. Slowly rising to my feet, I let out an annoyed groan when whoever is at the door rings it several more times in concession.
“Tess.” I hear my mom call down the hall from the bathroom.
“I’m getting it,” I grumble, emotion overwhelming me when I pull open the door to find my two best friends standing on my porch both dressed in pajamas.
Bree smiles and holds up the pizza box in her right hand, her belly so large she could probably balance the box on it instead. My gaze flips from her to Courtney, who gives me a wicked grin and pulls a bottle of vodka from her bag just long enough for me to see what it is before she shoves it back down.
“What—what are two doing here?” I question in disbelief, certain they would be getting ready for prom right now.
“Like we’d go to prom without you,” Courtney retorts, pushing past me into the house, Bree fast on her heels.
“You guys,” I start to object, closing the door behind them.
“Before you say anything,” Bree turns toward me. “Just know that the last thing I want to do is go to prom looking like this.” She gestures down to her belly.
“And the last thing I want to do is go to prom with Anthony. Jackass is lucky I haven’t dumped him already.” Courtney’s statement surprises me, but I don’t have time to comment before Bree cuts back in.
“So you see, you’d actually be doingusa huge favor by letting us just crash here tonight. Besides, this might very well be the last girl’s night we have like this,” she adds, an air of sadness to her voice.
I still can’t believe that in just a few weeks Bree is going to be moving all the way to the other side of the country. It seems even more surreal that she’s also about to become a mom. Things are changing so fast, and it’s terrifying that I have no control over any of it.
“Hi, girls.” My mom chooses this moment to come around the corner, her wet hair twisted up in a fluffy white towel.
“Hey, Mrs. W.” Court smiles. “Hope you don’t mind if we keep Tess company tonight,” she adds quickly.
“Not at all.” My mom smiles. “I think it’s great,” she says, turning her attention back to me. “Tess, baby, I’m running a little late. Would you mind throwing me a sandwich and some veggies in my lunch box.”
“Sure, Mom.” I nod, making my way into the kitchen with Bree and Court while my mom heads back to her bedroom to finish getting ready.
“So…” Courtney drags out, hoisting herself up onto the kitchen counter while Bree sets the pizza and snacks on the table. “How’s everything with…” She points toward the back of the house where my mom is.
“Different,” I admit, pulling open the fridge. I grab the chicken salad and the veggie tray, turning to set them on the island before continuing, “We haven’t really talked about things since last Saturday. I think, like Sebastian, she just wants to pretend it never happened.”
“I think you’re lucky to have someone who cares so much.” Bree steps up next to me, dropping the loaf of bread she got out of the pantry onto the island.
