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“Wow. Congratulations. That’s amazing. How do you feel?” I nod in thanks when he holds the door open for me before following me inside.
The smell of coffee instantly assaults my senses, and I take a deep inhale, having become one of my favorite smells over the last couple of years. I don’t like to drink it, but the smell is incredible. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that the smell reminds me of my mom; she’s always been a big coffee drinker.
“I’m not sure yet,” is all he can get out before we reach the counter, and my co-worker Jill cuts in.
“Tess, what are you doing here?” Her long blonde ponytail swings as she talks. “I thought you were leaving for North Carolina with that hunky boyfriend of yours.”
Sebastian shuffles next to me, clearly uncomfortable.
“We leave tomorrow.” I try to sound as casual as possible despite the sudden flush of heat that has washed over my body.
“How fun. I’m so jelly. I would love to lie on a beach for a few days.” Only then does she seem to notice Sebastian, her eyes widening slightly as she takes him in. “And who’s your friend?” Her voice completely changes as she asks me the question while looking directly at Sebastian.
“Sebastian.” He gives her a megawatt smile, and I swear I can physically see her swoon a little.
“Where do you find these guys?” Jill asks playfully as she turns back toward me.
I offer her no more than a shrug and a “we go way back” before asking if I can have my usual chai tea with two sweeteners. Jill may be perfectly content standing here ogling over Sebastian until her little heart’s content, but I’m rather anxious to have him to myself and find out exactly what has him coming all the way here to see me so unexpectedly.
Sebastian orders a coffee, black, and after paying for us both, grabs our drinks and follows me to a table in the far corner.
Sitting back in his chair, one hand on his leg, the other wrapped around his cup of coffee, he seems so lost in thought that I decide to speak first rather than waiting on him to start the conversation.
“So you were talking about graduation,” I press, hoping he’ll take the lead.
“I was.”
Only then do I realize that I don’t even know what he was studying. How sad is that? He hadn’t claimed a major the last time we had actually spoken of college, and with everything that happened, it was honestly the furthest thing from my mind.
“What did you end up studying?”
“Sports medicine.” He shifts in his seat, eyes never leaving mine.
“Oh wow. That’s awesome.” I feel cliché saying it, but I have no idea what the hell to say right now. Everything feels forced and unnatural which is unsettling considering I never felt anything but comfortable with Sebastian before.
“And what about football?” I quickly add when he doesn’t offer a response.
“I had some interest going into senior year, but I wasn’t interested in pursuing it.”
“Oh.” I don’t know why but this surprises me. I knew football was never his end game, but I find it hard to believe anyone would walk away from the chance to play football professionally.
“I actually got a job offer as an athletic assistant for the medical team at USC. I’m supposed to start in a couple weeks.”
“That’s amazing, Sebastian, congratulations.” I pause. “That’s in California, right?”
“It is.” He nods slowly, taking his first drink of coffee before setting it back down, his hand never leaving the cup.
“California,” I let it roll off my tongue as I toss around what that means for him. “You always said you would go back there one day.”
“Yeah, but when I thought about it I always saw you there with me.”
I don’t know what to say to that so I just sit here looking at him, my heart racing out of my chest, trying my best to control the tremble running through my hands.
“I miss you, Tess.” Heat spreads over my face and down my torso the second the words are spoken.
“Sebastian,” I try to interject.
“No, just let me get this out, okay?” He waits for me to nod before continuing, “I miss you every single day. Every moment was less because you weren’t there to share it with. I’ve missed out on so much time and now, now I find myself unsure of how to move forward without you. I don’t know how to explain it, but when I was up on that stage accepting the degree I worked my ass off for, the only person I wanted to look out into the audience and see was you. But you weren’t there, and it made me realize that none of it means anything if I don’t have you to share it with.”
