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And when it happens—when my reality skews and my body begins to take flight—I know that Ant is the only person who will ever take me to such heights, and he’s the only person who will catch me when I come crashing down.
Because crash is exactly what I do the moment he collapses down on top of me—bodies spent, hearts hammering in unison, eyes locked on each other like we’re both afraid if we look away the other might vanish.
I crash so hard that panic seizes my insides and I have the overwhelming sensation that I’m suffocating.
“I’ve got you, baby,” he whispers against my lips before pressing his mouth to mine. “I’ve always got you,” he soothes, like he knew this was coming before it ever did. Like he could sense the fall before the ground ever gave out beneath my feet.
I have yet to utter a single word, and yet the way he holds me says he understands what I’m feeling all too well. Is it possible that he feels the same way? Like one minute you see your life one way and the next it’s completely different? That one moment has the power to change everything.
It’s terrifying and liberating all at the same time. It’s something I’ve never experienced and honestly, something I never expected to.
“I think I’m in love with you,” I blurt aloud, my voice sounding more like a stranger’s than my own.
“You think or you know?” He pulls back, the look on his face enough to send another round of overwhelming emotion surging through me.
“I know.”
Ant smiles above me, the kind of smile that makes the earth feel like it’s moving beneath me.
“Fuck, Kingsley. Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to hear those words come out of your mouth?” He pushes my hair away from my forehead and studies me for a long moment.
“I’m in,” I say, knowing that after what I just experienced there is no way I can walk away from him now. “I want this. I want you.” I reach up and cup his face, pulling his mouth back down to mine.
“It’s always been you, Bree,” he mutters between kisses. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted. I’m so fucking in love with you.”
It doesn’t take long for our bodies to stir back to life, and once they do the rest of the world fades away. There is no ‘what happens tomorrow’ running through my head, no doubts or fears of what the future will hold. There’s just the acceptance of what my heart has been trying to tell me for weeks—that I love this man.
With him, there is no past Bree or present Bree.
There is no girl I was versus who I am now.
There is only me. Just Bree.
A girl who has lived her life in hiding in the dark and is now ready to step into the light. A girl who finally believes she deserves happiness. Because that’s what Anthony does for me. He makes me see myself through his eyes, past the mistakes and the pain, to a girl who is worthy of love.
I know what I want now.
I know what I need.
And it’s him.
I think maybe it’s always been him…
