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“Why are you calling me at three in the morning, Vi?” I hear Ant grumble as he shifts out from under me, pulling me from sleep.
I roll onto my side and blink into the darkness, feeling him stiffen the moment my arm wraps around his middle.
“When?” It’s all he says, and yet I know instantly what it means. “Yeah, okay,” he says, sitting up before throwing his legs over the side of the bed. “I said okay, Vi,” he bites, his sleep-ridden voice taking on a hard edge. “Okay. Yeah. Bye.” He ends the call and pushes to his feet before I can even process the movement.
“Ant?” I question, sitting up just as he clicks on the closet light before scouring the floor for his clothes. “Ant,” I say again, shoving back the covers as I quickly climb out of bed. “Hey.” I step in front of him and take his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me.
“What’s going on?” I search his eyes and see the blank detached gaze that stares back at me.
“My dad died,” he finally admits out loud, like he hasn’t quite processed the news.
“I’m so sorry.” I pull him into my arms, not really sure what else to say. How do you comfort someone who refuses to acknowledge they need comforting? “What can I do?” I pull back to look at him. “Tell me what you need.”
“I don’t need anything.” He shakes his head. “I just… Fuck, I just need a minute.” He pushes my arms away and quickly steps out of my embrace, ducking into the bathroom seconds later.
I pace the bedroom for several moments, honestly not really sure what I should do before finally settling on calling Tess. She answers on the first ring, worry evident in her voice.
“Bree, what is it?”
“Ant’s dad died,” I say the words slow, not yet sure how to feel about any of this.
“Oh my God.” I hear rustling in the background followed by Tess’ whispered words as she attempts to cover the phone. “What do you need from us?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, there’s really nothing you can do tonight except be there for him. He’s going to need his friends.” I want to correct her, tell her I’m more than just his friend, but I don’t want to open that can of worms tonight.
“Right, I know.”
“Call me in the morning and let me know when you guys are flying out. I’ll get Sebastian and my flights booked first thing in the morning. I’m assuming we have no idea when the services will be or anything.”
“No, I mean, I think it just happened.”
“Poor Ant.” She sighs.
“I don’t even know if he will want to go to the funeral,” I admit, knowing that the last time we spoke about his father he gave no indication that anything had changed for him in that regard.
“Okay, well just let me know when you know, and we will go from there. Either way, we’re here for him.”
“Thanks, Tess,” I say, my eyes darting to the doorway when Ant reappears there, his expression sullen. “I gotta go.” I hang up without giving her a chance to respond.
I’m across the room and in his arms in a matter of seconds, doing the only thing I have the power to do at this very moment—try to bear some of the weight of his pain.
“Liz is picking us up from the airport when we land,” I say, referring to Tess’ mom. “We’ll be staying with her until Sunday morning. Tess and Sebastian are going to stay at his parents. And our return flight home leaves Sunday at noon.” I tell Ant as I weave in and out of traffic leading into the airport. “I talked to Vi earlier and they decided to hold the visitation and funeral both on Friday. They’re having everyone come back to your parents’ house after the service,” I ramble just to fill the silence of the car.
Ant has been like a zombie since last night. He’s barely spoken ten words since he found out that his dad passed, and I’m not sure if it’s because he feels guilty for not being there when it happened or if he’s simply in shock that he’s actually gone. Either way, all I know is there was no way I was going to sit back and let him withdrawal into himself, so I did the only thing I knew to do. I took charge.
I called Tess and made arrangements for us to stay with her mom for the weekend. Then I called Vi to let her know that we would be arriving this afternoon. My grandparents were generous enough to keep Jack for the weekend. The last thing I wanted to do was take him away from school and submerge him into what is sure to be an emotional weekend. I feel better knowing he’ll be far away from this situation and well taken care of.
Ant didn’t fight me when I told him we were going to Rockfield for the funeral like I thought he would. Instead, he just kind of nodded and started throwing stuff in his bag. Again— zombie.
Jackson’s the only one who was able to pull Ant from his mind long enough to actually speak. And even then, I could tell it was hard for Ant. I got the weird feeling that as he was looking at Jackson he was wondering if his father ever looked at him that way. He never said anything of the sort, of course, but I felt it nonetheless.
Ant simply nods to everything I’m telling him, his gaze locked out the window as I finally manage to locate a parking spot in the far corner of the airport parking lot.
“Hey.” I reach over and grab his hand seconds after killing the engine.
He glances over at me, his stormy eyes so conflicted it nearly breaks me.
