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“Thank you for doing all this.” His statement surprises me, and in an instant relief washes over me.
“Of course,” I say, squeezing his fingers.
“I know I’ve been kind of out of it today. I’m sorry about that. I’m just feeling a kind of way that I’m not quite sure how to handle.”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Ant. You just lost your father. No matter the relationship there, he was still your father. That’s bound to bring up some painful feelings. Just know I’m here. No matter what.”
“Thank you.” He gives me a sad smile before quickly climbing from the car.
Ant refused to visit his family before the service. We spent Thursday night holed up in Tess’ old childhood bedroom with Liz checking on us every five minutes.
By the time Friday afternoon rolls around, I’m exhausted, both physically and mentally. Ant doesn’t talk on the way to the funeral home. We sit in the same uncomfortable silence we’ve existed in for the last two days; honestly, I’m at a loss here.
I know I can’t push him to deal with this. I can only be ready to be there for him when it finally sinks in. But patience has never been one of my strong suits, and I can feel mine wearing thinner and thinner with each moment that passes.
Court, Tess, and Sebastian all come to the funeral. I didn’t even know Courtney was in town, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Tess called her. I’m also not surprised that she came because that’s just Courtney.
Normally I would feel worried, uneasy about how closely she’s watching me as I stand next to Ant, my hand wrapped around his as the preacher stands at the head of his father’s casket and reads from the Bible, but right now I just don’t care. All I care about is Ant and what he’s going through.
We arrive back at Anthony’s childhood home just after four in the afternoon. His neighbors all came together for his mom and brought a spread of food that lines every square inch of countertop space in the kitchen.
People are in and out, paying their condolences to Ant, his sisters, and his mom. I watch him carefully, watch as he shakes hands and accepts hugs like he’s acting on autopilot. I can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s anywhere but here. Hell, he’s been anywhere but here since Vi called, and I’m not sure how to bring him back.
Sebastian, Tess, and Court are never far from where we are. I can feel them watching us, watching Ant, like they are preparing for the same thing I am—the fallout they know is coming.
“Hey.” Courtney’s voice snags my attention, and I look up from the picture I’m looking at of Anthony as a child just as she stops next to me.
“Hey.” I force a smile, all too aware of the unspoken secrets still lingering in the space between us.
I hate that they’re there. I hate that I feel tense and unsure around my best friend when I should be happy that she’s here. I hate a lot of things about this situation. Mainly I just hate myself for lying to her, for keeping something from her that she deserves to know the truth about.
“How you holding up?” she asks, her gaze falling to the same picture I was just looking at.
“I’m okay. Worried about Ant.” I shrug.
“He seems pretty out of it,” she observes.
“Yeah, I’m not really sure what to do for him.”
“Not a whole lot you can do. You two seem really close.” Her statement comes out of left field, and an instant knot forms in my stomach.
“He’s a good guy,” I say, just needing to say something.
“He’s lucky to have a friend like you.”
I can tell she wants to say more but for whatever reason chooses not to. Courtney’s never been one to bite her tongue, so this makes me even more anxious.
“I’m not so sure about that.” I let out a slow breath, thinking more of her friendship than his.
“Seriously, Bree. I could tell how fond he was of you when we went out to dinner. He spoke so highly of you. For a second I almost wondered if he had a thing for you.” She shakes her head like she’s unsure if she still thinks that now.
“Whatever happened with the two of you anyway?” I quickly change the subject. “Have you spoken since you got back home?” I ask, even though I know they haven’t, or at least I think they haven’t.
“He’s texted a few times. Well, I’ve text him, and he’s responded. I think he’s pretty into the girl you were telling me about. He doesn’t really seem all that interested in reconnecting.”
“And how do you feel about that?” I ask, focusing on anything but the way she seems to be looking at me, like she’s waiting for something.
“I mean, I’m bummed. But it is what it is. I can’t force it, ya know? I think Tess and Sebastian getting back together stirred up a lot of unresolved feelings I have on the matter.”
