Page 86 of When Dawn Breaks


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We’ve made such a mess of things, he and I. I just don’t know if I see a way past it without hurting Courtney more than we already have.

Tess shrugs and slides down next to me, pulling her knees up to her chest. “She’s pretty upset.”

“I’ve really screwed things up this time, haven’t I?”

“I’m not going to lie, you really have.” She gives me an apologetic smile, angling her body toward mine. “I just don’t get what happened.” She lets out a slow breath. “The last time we talked I knew you were struggling with your feelings, but when did it escalate to this?”

“I don’t know. It just kind of happened.”

“I’ve heard that a lot today.” She chuckles, shaking her head.

“I know it sounds generic, but it’s true. It really did just happen.”

“So you are sleeping together then?”

I give her one look, and she knows the answer without me ever having to say a word.

“Are you kidding me, Bree? Do you have any idea the magnitude of this situation? We talked about this. You promised me nothing else would happen until you talked to her. Hell, I kept that secret for you and inadvertently made myself an accomplice. Why would you do that? Why would you pursue anything with him, let alone sleep with him, without talking to Courtney first?”

“I didn’t know what to say to her.”

“You mean you chickened out, and it was easier to have what you wanted and hide it from her than to give him up or face the situation head-on,” she accuses.

“I already know how badly I fucked up. You didn’t have to come over here to drive that point home,” I bite.

“Look, I can tell you’re hurting. I know how much Court means to you, but you’ve got to put yourself in her shoes. She just found out her ex-boyfriend, who she recently hoped to reconnect with, and her best friend of fifteen years were hooking up behind her back. I doubt whatever you’re feeling even comes close to how betrayed and foolish she feels.”

“I never meant to make her feel that way.”

“I know you didn’t, but it still happened. And now you have to figure out how to make it right.”

“How do I do that?” I question, watching her stand.

“You’re gonna have to figure that out on your own. There isn’t going to be a quick fix here, Bree. What you did to her isn’t something she’ll likely get over soon. She’s gonna need some time.”

“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?” I call after her as she pulls open the front door, turning to look up at her.

“Hard to say. But if I know Courtney, and I’m pretty sure I do, I don’t think there’s any way she will write you off indefinitely. Because even after everything, she was still worried about you tonight. I think that proves the kind of friend she is.”

“If you’re trying to make me feel worse it’s working.”

“I don’t need to make you feel worse, you’ve done a good enough job of that on your own.” She steps inside the door and pauses, looking back down at me. “I really hope he was worth it, Bree. For all of our sakes.” With that, she disappears inside, and once again I’m left trying to sift through the pieces that once fit together and now no longer do.

Walking up to Ant’s mom’s house, I feel this weird sense of calm. My earlier nerves have passed, and I feel almost in a dream-like state where nothing feels entirely real.

I don’t even make it to the front door before it swings open and Ant steps out, looking like he hasn’t been to bed all night. That would make two of us.

“Hey,” he says softly, closing the door behind him as he joins me on the porch.

“Hey,” I say, turning to grip the railing that wraps around the ledge, squeezing the hard plastic in my hands as I look out over the front yard.

“I thought you’d come back to Liz’s last night,” I say, not looking in his direction.

“Yeah well, I thought you might need some space. With the way you took off and all.” I feel him settle in next to me, his hands mirroring mine as he grips the railing in front of him.

“Yeah. I guess I did,” I admit, letting out a nervous breath. “Gave me some time to think. Figure some things out.”

“And what did you need to figure out exactly?”

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