AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The Alabama heat is stifling compared to Connecticut. Being the beginning of September, the leaves have already started to change in Rockfield and the heat has given way to cooler temperatures. I spent the last few days there hammering out the details with the house and getting everything signed over in my mom’s name. It’s been like pulling teeth to get it all figured out, but thanks to a buddy of mine who’s in his second year of law school, we finally got it sorted, and she no longer needs to worry about her living situation.
I still can’t believe that asshole left me the house. After everything my mom has done for him over the years and he tries to leave her with nothing. Even on his deathbed he was a selfish son of a bitch.
I step out of the airport and look down at the text message on my phone. According to Tess, Courtney is living with a roommate just outside of Tuscaloosa—about an hour drive from here—and is usually home from work just after six. Considering it’s already five thirty, she should be home by the time I arrive.
I don’t really have a game plan. Honestly, I’m not even sure how the hell I ended up with this plan to begin with. After spending days feeling like I couldn’t breathe, I finally decided I had to do something.
It would’ve been so easy to answer Bree when she tried to reach out, to tell her how miserable I am without her, and beg her to take me back. But I knew it wouldn’t do any good but to further complicate our situation because at the end of the day her reasons for walking away were justified. Those reasons would be the very thing that would haunt our relationship should we choose to move forward, which, honestly, I don’t know is even a possibility. But I know I have to try.
So me being the stupid ass that I am, I concocted a plan to get Courtney’s blessing. Ridiculous, I know. Who spends three hours on a plane to ask his ex-girlfriend for her permission to date her best friend? But it’s the only thing I could think of that gave me any sort of fighting chance. If Bree sees that Courtney supports this then there’s nothing stopping us from being together.
Or at least that’s the hope…
All I know is that I’m fucking dying here. My chest has felt like it’s seconds away from caving in since the moment I watched her walk away. I can’t eat, I barely sleep. All I can think about is her and Jackson, about the family I lost—a family I didn’t even know I wanted until a few weeks ago.
Bree has opened my eyes in a way I never imagined possible. She’s made me see things differently, look at things from a different angle, want things I wasn’t sure I’d ever want.
When I close my eyes, I can see her smile, the way her golden eyes sparkle, and damn if it doesn’t almost cripple me thinking that I may never get to see that again; experience all the incredible things that have got me so twisted I can barely function without her.
What if I never get to wake up next to her again and see her sleeping peacefully in my arms, hair fanned out behind her, lips slightly parted? What if I never get to make her breakfast with Jack again? What if I never get to sit in Jackson’s room and read him his favorite book, the one he told Bree only I can read to him now because I’m so much better at the voices than she is.
I can still see the look on her face when he said it, a mixture of humor and offense. Just thinking about it makes me chuckle, and yet the pain in my chest only swells more.
By the time my Uber arrives at the curb, I’m in even worse shape than I was on the plane. Because now, instead of focusing on what the hell I’m doing here, I’m reliving every single memory with Bree and am fucking downright terrified that I’ll never get any more.
Climbing into the backseat of the small sedan, I verify the address with the driver before settling into my seat.
I’ve never been to Alabama before, never really had a reason. Once we’re out of Birmingham there’s a lot of country and not a whole hell of a lot to see, which offers very little in the way of distraction; which is something I desperately need right now.
There’s this common misconception that men don’t experience emotions as deeply as women. We do. We’re usually just better at keeping them hidden. But anyone can look at me now and know I’m a fucking wreck. There’s no hiding it, no locking it away. The mask I spent years gluing into place has all but disappeared, and for the first time in a very long time, I’m wearing my pain as if it were the mask and not my real face.
Only it is real. I couldn’t fake this kind of misery if I wanted to. The kind that leaves a permanent knot in the pit of your stomach and a weight on your chest that makes it feel impossible to pull in a breath let alone keep breathing for days.
I let this center me, let it drive me, let it push my nerves down and know that it’s either this or live without Bree and Jack for the rest of my life, and I’m not prepared to do that. Even if Bree wants to be with me, as Tess says she does, I know that we will never be able to make it work with Courtney hanging over our heads.
I’m not even sure what I’m going to say to her, only that I need to make her understand how much I love her friend and how desperately I need her.
God, listen to me. I’m so far fucking gone it’s damn near laughable. And yet, I can’t say that I really care. When you find someone like Bree, you don’t let her go no matter what. And if you do, you’re a fucking fool.
Because Bree Kingsley is one of a kind. A girl who has experienced more in her twenty-two years on this earth than most people do in a lifetime and is still standing. Hell, she isn’t just standing, she’s thriving, she’s succeeding, and she’s doing what only a woman like Bree can do. She’s rising above. And fuck if that doesn’t make me love her even more.
When the driver slows outside a newer apartment complex, my focus is pulled back to where I am and why. I take a deep breath, looking up at the beige siding of the three-story apartment building.
After paying for the ride and throwing some extra on for tip, I quickly exit the car, slinging my duffel over my shoulder before shutting the door and offering the driver a swift nod.
Turning, I stare up at the building for several long seconds, trying to muster the courage to go inside. I’m so fucking nervous I feel like a teenager again. My insides buzz with anticipation, and my hands feel like I’ve just dipped them in water. And while I’m not excited to talk to Court, knowing what I have to say won’t be easy, it’s the outcome that this determines that has me all fucked up inside.
Wiping my palms on my jeans, I adjust the strap of my duffel bag and head toward the front door of the building. I’m seconds away from buzzing apartment 3B when I hear her voice wash over me from behind.
“Ant?” I spin to see Courtney, wide-eyed and gawking at me like she’s just seen a ghost, two grocery bags hanging from her hands. “What are you doing here?” she questions before I can get one single word out.
“I was hoping we could talk,” I finally manage to say, swallowing down the knot in my throat.
“I really don’t think there’s anything for us to say to each other.” She quickly steps past me, struggling to get her keys out of her purse with her hands full.
“Here, let me help you.” I reach for the grocery bags, but she quickly jerks out of my reach.
“I don’t need your help, Ant. I don’t need anything from you,” she sneers, hurt evident in her dark eyes.
