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Five years ago–17 years old
“You’ve got to get up quicker.” Kam laughs, shaking his head at yet another failed attempt for me to stand on my surf board.
“Easier said than done,” I huff, laying down to paddle further out into the water.
“You’re overthinking it. You’ve got to trust your instinct. Let the water tell you when it’s time.” Kam paddles next to me, matching me stride for stride.
“Do you hear yourself right now? You’re talking about water like it has the ability to communicate.” I stop, pushing up to straddle the board. Kam follows my lead, mirroring my actions so that we are both floating side by side.
“You don’t think it does?” He cocks his head and hits me with that boyish grin of his.
“Do you really want me to answer that?” I laugh.
“For someone who pretends to be so fearless, I’m noticing you have some control issues.”
“Screw you, I am fearless,” I say in mock offense.
“Then prove it. Give up control. Let something else guide you for once in your life.”
“Why would I want to do that?”
“Because I think you’ll find it’s quite freeing.” He shakes his head, a thick chunk of wet dark hair falling into his face as he does.
My heart does a little pitter patter in my chest as I watch him push it out of his face –enjoying the way his muscles flex as he moves his arm, allowing myself to steal a small glance at his toned chest and stomach.
Kam Thaler really is something to look at. The perfect combination of sexy and boyish charm. There isn’t one thing about him that I don’t find myself completely infatuated with. He’s the total package, both inside and out.
When my eyes make their way back up to Kam’s face, he’s looking at me with the same cocky smirk he always does when he catches me ogling him. He knows he’s gorgeous and he loves nothing more than giving me shit when I’m forced to acknowledge this fact as well.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I snip. A full blown smile stretches across his face at my words.
“Look at you like what?” he asks innocently.
“Like that.” I point in the general vicinity of his face.
“I’m not looking at you like anything.”
“Oh my god you are so infuriating.” I groan dramatically, looking back just in time to see a nice set of waves coming in behind us.
“This is it.” Kam switches gears the moment he sees my attention has been pulled. “You got this, butter bean. Wait until I give you the signal, then paddle as hard and as fast as you can. Got it?”
“Got it.”
I lean forward on my board, waiting for Kam’s instructions.
“Now, when you drop into the wave keep your body loose. Let the water guide you,” he continues.
“Loose. Got it,” I repeat. Nervous energy pings through me like an electric current.
“Paddle, El. Paddle.” The words barely leave Kamden’s lips before I’m off, paddling as hard and fast as I can, just as he had instructed.
I try to focus on the feel of the water beneath me, remembering everything Kam told me about trusting my instincts. When I feel the wave surge behind me I quickly pop up, able to hold my balance for the first time as I drop into the wave.
Kam hollers somewhere off in the distance but it’s drowned out by the roaring of the water and my pulse thumping loudly in my ears.
This is it. The rush. The adrenaline. This is what I live for. Only it’s so much more than that because as Kam said, I have no control and I am the master of controlling every situation. Yes, I do crazy things and am a bit of a daredevil but in everything I do I have complete control. Out here, I’m at the mercy of the ocean, of the waves, of the water falling around me as it closes in on me.
Just like that, the wave swallows me whole. Within seconds I’m under water, my body twirling and spinning with the current. I feel the strap around my ankle tug as my board is pulled behind me but I have no real sense of direction to push myself to the surface.
