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Have you ever had something so incredible happen in your life that you can’t help but wonder if it’s actually real? Sometimes when I step back and look at Kane I can’t help but feel like I’m going to blink and suddenly be back at the funeral, staring at him over Kamden’s grave.
It’s like you see in the movies. One moment bleeds into another but then at the very end the main character wakes up and realizes their mind created this whole reality in a matter of moments. A reality that seemed endless, like it stretched on forever, when only a couple minutes had actually passed.
“Elara,” Kane says, tightening his hand around mine. “You okay?” he asks.
Looking up at him, I reply, “Yeah. Fine.” I smile, resisting the urge to stop and kiss him given the amount of people around us.
Kane surprised me for our last day in Italy by sweeping me off to Rome via the high speed train system they have here in Italy. The entire day has been like a fairy tale and I mean that in every sense of the word. The only thing we’re missing is maybe a glass slipper and some talking mice.
We’ve seen ancient runes, the Colosseum, thrown coins in the Trevi Fountain, eaten some of the most incredible street food, and Kane somehow managed to arrange a private tour of Cinecitta Studios where some amazing classic movies were made, which of course was right up my alley.
Now, as we walk hand in hand through the heart of Rome, all I can think is that nothing will ever feel this good again. There’s no topping this for me. Every single moment I’ve spent in this country has been beyond what I could have ever dreamed. Hell, I’m ready to pack up and make the move permanently. Then again I think Italy would lose a lot of its appeal if Kane wasn’t here. Because no matter how much I have loved being here, it’s my time with him that means the most.
“You sure?” Kane looks down at me, my answer clearly not very convincing.
“Yeah.”
“You seem a million miles away.”
“Just thinking.” I gently knock my shoulder against him, plastering on a smile.
“You don’t wanna leave.” He doesn’t ask, he already knows I don’t.
“I really don’t,” I admit, letting out a slow breath. “I mean, look at this place. It’s like existing in a completely different world. There’s so much history and culture. The people are amazing. I love every single thing about being here.”
“It is beautiful,” he agrees. “But beautiful places exist everywhere, you just have to stop and actually look around.”
“Look at you getting all philosophical on me,” I tease.
“It’s not about the place for me,” he says, grinning down at me before turning his gaze forward. “It’s about the moments and the people I get to experience them with.”
“People.” I arch a brow.
“Well in this case, person,” he corrects, shaking his head. “And you say I’m the smart ass.”
“You are a smart ass.”
“Well, you are too. Guess we’re both smart asses.”
“Guess so,” I concede.
“I’m sure you’re anxious to see your dad.” He goes back to the subject at hand, trying to put a positive spin on things, clearly sensing the decline in my mood.
“Yeah, I miss him but I’m used to going long periods of time without seeing him. We’ve lived apart for the last four years. Now stop trying to find reasons for me to be happy about leaving tomorrow.”
“So bossy.” He chuckles.
Silence stretches between us for several long moments and I bite down the urge to ask him what comes next. Will we return to our normal lives? Me to Arkansas and him to Illinois? Will we promise to visit each other as often as we can but then go weeks without actually seeing each other because he’s off on a contract somewhere? And what if he expects me to go with him or worse, what if he doesn’t want me to? Truthfully, I’m scared of what his answer will be to any of these questions.
“Kane,” I say even though I’ve made the decision not to broach the topic yet.
“Yeah.” He looks down at me, his hand squeezing mine.
“Never mind.” I chicken out.
“Tell me what you were going to say.” He slows, pulling me to the far side of the walkway so that we aren’t blocking anyone from going around us.
“It’s nothing.” I stare at his chest, feeling an overwhelming sadness settle down on me.
