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It’s been three hours since we rang in our first New Year together and while I should be tired, after all the buzz and excitement surrounding Hudson’s performance, I’m still hyped up and not the least bit sleepy. Of course, he was amazing, but what came after was even better. Making love to Hudson has to be the best way I’ve ever started off a new year.
“Why do you ask?” I keep my cheek pressed against his chest, loving the sound of his heart beat against my ear.
“I don’t know. I always assumed in following music that I would be giving up other things. Stability. Love. Family. But laying here with you, being with you, makes me feel like maybe I really can have it all.”
“You can,” I say, sliding my arm across his stomach.
“Do you believe in fate?”
“To an extent. I believe certain things happen for certain reasons, but how we deal with those situations is what determines the outcome. Not something that’s already been predestined. What about you?”
“I’ve never really believed in fate or destiny. At least I didn’t until I looked out into the crowd of my first show on my very first major tour and saw you standing there. Of all the places and people in the world–it was you standing there.”
“I know what you mean. I felt the same way looking up and seeing you on that stage. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that we were both there.”
“Fate.” I can feel his smile against the top of my head. “There I was, getting to do something I had dreamt of doing nearly my entire life, but as good as it felt, something about it didn’t feel complete. But then I saw you and suddenly everything aligned. It was like the stars formed a giant arrow that pointed down to where you were standing in the crowd. A neon sign that read ‘This girl is the one. Your destiny. Don’t let her go again, asshole.’I hadn’t seen you in years. I didn’t know if you were married or had children. I didn’t know if I even had a chance in hell with you, but there was no way I wasn’t going to try.”
“That’s why you sent Colton after me.”
“I was afraid if I waited I’d miss the chance to speak to you. The girl I couldn’t shake. The girl who after only one night had sunk so deep into my skin I knew I’d never be able to wash her away. And I didn’t either. I thought about you for weeks, hell months. Even after five years had passed I still found myself thinking about you. Every single time I saw a bottle of tequila.”
“I thought about you too. Probably more than I should have. I met a couple men after you but I couldn’t stop comparing them to you to give them any real chance. And then Gage.” Hudson stiffens slightly beneath me so I choose to leave it at that.
“Gage what?” he pushes when I don’t continue.
“We really don’t have to talk about that,” I say, shifting so my head is resting on his bicep. Hudson rolls to his side at the same time so we’re facing each other, our faces inches apart.
“Finish what you were going to say.”
“It’s just, in the beginning with Gage I found myself comparing him to you at every turn. But eventually I realized that I was holding everyone to this impossible standard. I was trying to make everyone match up to a man I really didn’t know. I finally started letting go of this unrealistic fantasy I had about a man I’d likely never see again. But even then you’d still creep into my mind from time to time. I’d remember how my heart sped up when you smiled or how my skin prickled when you touched me. How you made me feel a way no one had ever made me feel before and you did so without even trying. I think back on that time now and it feels so strange. I had this idea of who you really were and I’d convinced myself I was wrong because no one could be that perfect. But now I see just how right I was about you all along. Even after just one night I knew you were something special.”
“I think you might like me, Miss Claire,” he teases, gracing me with his dimpled smile.
“I think we’re way pastlike, Mr. Demasi.” I laugh, throwing my leg over his hip before rolling our bodies so that he’s on his back and I’m straddling his middle. “Now the real question is–what am I going to do with you?”
Hudson’s hands slide to my hips as his eyes graze across my bare chest before finding my face again.
“What do you want to do with me?” he purrs, pressing upward to grind his hardening length against my bare sex.
“I think you know exactly what I want.” Reaching between us, I position his erection at my entrance, sliding myself down onto him.
I bite my bottom lip to keep from moaning. I swear I could get off with him just being inside of me. He feels that good.
“You are a greedy little thing, Miss Claire,” he tells me, groaning as I begin to ride him at a slow and torturous pace.
“Only when it comes to you,” I admit, completely unashamed by how wild he makes me feel.
Hudson has opened me up to someone I always knew I was but hesitant to embrace. With him there are no boundaries, no limits. With him I am free.
