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“Do you really think there’s any way he would letyougo? This isn’t something you walk away from and hope it hurts less. This is something you face, accept, and then spend what days you have left loving each other as fiercely as you can.”
“I don’t want to die,” I sob, choking on my words. “But more than anything I don’t want to leave him.”
“I know you don’t, honey. And doing so will seem impossible. Saying goodbye to you feels impossible to me already, and yet I know I’m going to have to do it.” Claire blinks and two tears trickle down her cheek.
“Claire.” I cry harder, my emotion getting away from me again. I hold out my arms and she immediately goes into them.
I don’t know how long we sit like that. Arms tangled around each other, crying like we may never stop, but eventually we do stop and when we do, I feel a little lighter.
I know this is only going to get harder. I know that there’s no fixing this. But I also know I don’t want to waste a single second I have left fighting with the people I love.
I want to spend it laughing, loving, and living. I want to look back as I take my dying breath and know that I lived every minute to the absolute fullest for as long as I could.
Some people don’t get that chance. The chance to accept what will happen. The chance to live and love while they still can. The chance to say goodbye when their time comes to an end.
Life is unpredictable and at times, highly unfair. But that’s life. There’s no rhyme or reason to it.
Messy. Heartbreaking. Cruel. Beautiful life.
Some people just get a lot more of it than others. But time doesn’t define how much life we live. What we do with the days we have does. And I plan to spend every second loving my sister, my friends, and most importantly, Abel. Until my dying breath I will love them with everything I have. And maybe even after...
