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——
It’s been almost amonth since my trip with Abel. A month longer that I’ve gotten to spend with him. A month more of memories we’ve gotten to make, even if most of them exist within the four walls of my bedroom or the hospital, which I’ve been in and out of several times over the course of the last month.
I wish I could say I’ve gotten better, that my body magically started fighting off the cancer, but that’s simply not the case.
Abel’s parents hired an in home nurse a couple of weeks ago to help take care of me at the request of their son. While he and Claire haven’t left my side, there are some things only a medical professional can really do. He arranged the whole thing without my knowledge. I think he knew I would have fought him on spending the money so he left me in the dark.
Imagine my surprise when in walked Janet, a middle aged nurse who looked so much like my old next door neighbor from South Carolina that I had to do a double take.
Things haven’t been easy and some days are definitely better than others, but I wouldn’t trade a single one of them. Because even on a really bad day, I still get to look up and see Abel next to me. See his brilliant ocean blue eyes and that dimple that still makes my heart pick up speed.
Sometimes I feel selfish. Like I’m holding him back. But other times I know deep down that there’s no other place he’d rather be and that outweighs the doubt.
“You’re awake.” I lift my gaze from the book I’ve been attempting to read for the last few minutes to see Abel enter the bedroom.
My focus has not been what it used to be and as such I have trouble reading. I still try every day though. I can’t remember a day that has passed since I learned to read that I didn’t open a book and at least read a few paragraphs. I’m not about to let that streak end now.
“Yeah.” I smile when he sits down on the bed next to me.
“Is it any good?” he asks, pointing to the book now closed in my lap.
“I’m not sure.” I shrug. “I didn’t get very far. It’s hard for me to focus on the words,” I admit.
“Want me to read it to you?” he asks, handing me the milkshake I asked for.
“Maybe later.” I place the book on my nightstand before lifting the straw to my lips.
Eating isn’t something I really enjoy anymore. I get a lot of my nutrients from an I.V. drip that Janet set up last week. Even still, there are things I crave from time to time. Ice cream being the main thing.
“You look like you feel better today.” His blue eyes sweep over my face.
“I do.”
“Is there anything you need?”
“Actually there is.” I sit up further in bed. “I need to get out of this room.”
“Finley.”
“I know, I know. We’ve been over this. But I’m going crazy in here. I just need to get out of here for a little while.”
His eyes bounce between mine as he thinks on my words.
“Did you have some place specific in mind?”
“I want to go to the beach. It’s warm enough now and I want to go one more time while I still can. When I moved here one of the first things Claire did was take me swimming at the lake.”
“But your I.V.”
“I’ve already talked to Janet and she agrees that a couple hours outside would do me good. I can take my pills with me for pain if I need them.”
“Are you sure you feel up to it?”
“All I have to do is sit in a beach chair and soak in the sun. I think I can handle it,” I tell him, leaning forward to lay a light kiss to his jaw. “Please.” I pout out my bottom lip.
“Fine.” He rolls his eyes with a chuckle. “The beach it is.”
——
