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“You sure you feel...” He stops himself, his eyes trained on me as I shakily push to my feet. “Let’s take a swim,” he agrees, quickly standing.
Looping his arm through mine, he helps me to the water. I smile the instant the cool waves hit my feet. Abel allows me to walk until the water is around my knees before swooping me up into his arms.
He waits until the water is at his chest before lowering me back to my feet. Because of our height difference it’s quite a bit deeper for me than it is him, hitting me almost at the neck. It feels amazing. The cool water on my sun heated skin. The weightlessness of my body. The feel of Abel as he presses against me, both arms wrapped around my shoulders as the gentle waves lap around us.
“You know, one day I’d like to rent a boat,” I say, keeping my gaze away from Abel. “We could pack lunches and spend the entire day on the water. Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
“Yeah, it would be,” he agrees, kissing the side of my head.
“Promise me we will do it one day,” I say, knowing that one day will never come but I need to pretend like it will.
“Finley.” I look up to meet the incredible gaze of my husband, the love of my life. The man who gave my life meaning.
“Promise me.” I reach up, cupping his face with both of my hands.
“I promise,” he finally concedes, dropping his forehead to mine. “I promise.”
I close my eyes and breathe in Abel’s incredible scent which blends with the smell of the water, overwhelming my senses in the best way possible. Things may be hard right now, but it’s moments like this that make it all worth it. Moments where Abel and I can disappear into our own little bubble where we’re safe from anything and anyone. Nothing can hurt us here.
I only wish we could stay here forever.
We spend the remainder of the day on the beach. Abel doesn’t press me to go home and not until I say I’m ready does he even mention leaving.
It’s been a great day. The perfect day. A day I’m so glad we got at least one more of. I don’t know how many good days we’ll have left. Maybe none.
Maybe this is all we’ll get. I don’t try to rationalize how that makes me feel like I normally would. I’ve accepted that while leaving Abel feels impossible, it’s not something I get to choose. Iamleaving him but instead of focusing on our impending goodbye, I’m trying to enjoy what little time we get before I go.
“Thank you for today,” I say as Abel lowers me to my feet next to the car. “It was exactly what I needed.”
“For me too.” He runs the back of his hand down my cheek. “No one will ever love another person as much as I love you. I’ve decided it’s not possible.”
“Is that so? You’ve decided, huh?” I smile at him.
“I have.” He nods.
“Well I hate to break it to you, but there is no way that’s true. Because I love you more.”
“Let’s agree to disagree on this one.” He winks, pulling open the passenger side door before helping me inside.
Leaning over, he grabs the seatbelt and starts to pull it across my chest, stopping mid motion when he catches my expression.
“I’m doing it again, aren’t I?” He chuckles, letting the seatbelt snap back into place before backing out of the car and shutting my door.
I smile, snapping myownseatbelt right as Abel slides into the driver’s seat next to me.
“Can I ask for one more favor?” I lay my head back on the headrest, my face tilted in his direction.
“Anything.” He meets my gaze.
“Take me back to your apartment.”
“What?” He seems confused by my request.
“I love it there and I haven’t been there in so long. I want to lounge on your couch and soak in your big tub. I want to make love to you without having to worry about Janet or Claire walking in. I want to feel like me again and I can’t do that at home.” I take in his conflicted expression. “Oh, and I want to stop and get a burger from Jack’s on the way.”
“You know if we go to Jack’s we may end up stuck there for a while.”
“And that would be a bad thing, why?”
“Because you’re sick, Fin. You need to get home and get some rest.”
“All I do is rest. Today I feel better than I have in a very long time and I plan to take full advantage of it. Now, if you don’t mind, husband.” I point at the road in the distance. “Jack’s, please.”
The smile that spreads across Abel’s face is enough to make my insides swirl in delight. It doesn’t matter how many times he smiles, because every time he does it’s like seeing it for the first time. He just has one of those smiles that makes everything feel okay, even when it isn’t.
“Yes, wife,” he agrees, firing the engine of the car to life.
