Page 66 of What Comes After


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Tears blur my vision, all of my senses overwhelmed as Abel begins to slowly move inside of me. I’m lost to the feeling. To him. Floating away on a cloud I never, ever want to come down from.

It’s not long before soft and sweet morphs into hard and carnal, Abel taking something from me that he so desperately needs. That I’m more than willing to give to him.

I lift my hips, meeting him thrust for thrust as we move together in perfect synchronization. Each one taking us higher and higher. Bringing us closer and closer, until both of us are dangling off the cliff, fighting like hell to hang on.

My fingers slip and I go tumbling down, free falling into the abyss as my body explodes around Abel, taking him down with me.

It takes several beats before we’re able to catch our breath. Abel’s body covers mine like a heavy blanket, his heart hammering so hard and fast I can feel it against my chest.

In a euphoric bliss, I move my fingers lazily up and down his back, but it’s not long before my mind starts to run away from me, and I can tell by the way he withdraws into himself that he’s doing the very same thing.

“I’m sorry.” He lets out a heavy breath and rolls off of me.

“Sorry?” I question, propping up on my elbows to watch him slide out of bed.

“I don’t know what I was thinking.” He shakes his head as if to remove a thick fog that’s closing in around him as he begins to get dressed.

“Abel.” I sit up and push off the bed, making quick work of collecting my clothes. “There’s no reason to be sorry. I’m not,” I tell him, stepping in front of him with my clothes balled up against my chest.

“I don’t want to lead you on. I promised myself that I wouldn’t.”

“How are you leading me on?” I grab his chin and force him to look at me. “We didn’t do anything wrong. We’re both consenting adults who did something we wanted.” I’m shocked by how confident and sure I sound. Normally, I’d be running for the door the moment he crawled out of bed. But not this time. Not with Abel. I want him, and damn if I’m going to be ashamed of that.

“I know. But the problem is, I like you. Like really like you. And honestly, Peyton, it scares me a little.”

“I feel the same way, and it scares me too.”

“I’m not capable of giving you what you want.”

“Why are you so sure you know what I want? Maybe this is what I want. Maybe I just want to have sex with a man I’m very attracted to. Is that so wrong?”

He seems to think on this for a moment, his expression softening slightly.

“I’m making it weird, aren’t I?”

“Truthfully, a little.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to do this anymore.”

“How to do what?”

“This.” He gestures between us. “I haven’t had anything more than random one-night stands since...”

“Since Finley died.” As I finish his sentence for him, my heart cracks straight down the middle. Only it’s not breaking for me, it’s breaking for him. I can see it; the uncertainty, the fear, the indecision. It’s etched into every feature of his face.

He nods slowly.

“I don’t know how to do this with someone I know. Someone I actually really like.”

“We don’t have to make this something. We don’t ever have to do this again if you don’t want to.”

“That’s the problem. I do want to.”

“Why is that a problem?”

“Because feelings always get in the way when sex is involved.”

“So, we won’t let them.” As if it’s that easy.

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