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“Have you told him how you feel?” I ask.
“Have you told Abel how you feel?” she counters.
“No, because truthfully I don’t know how I feel. And it wouldn’t matter even if I did. He doesn’t want a relationship.”
“So what? You just accept that as his final answer and move along?”
“It is what it is, Henna. I can’t change that.” I push away from the table and walk toward the living room, needing to move for a moment.
“You’re scared.” She follows me to the couch and takes the opposite end from me when I sit down.
“It’s casual sex, Henna. What do I have to be scared of?”
“The fact that you’re in fucking love with him for one.”
“I’ve already told you, I’m not in love with him.”
“No, you gave me some BS excuse as to why you can’t be. Not that you aren’t.”
“Well I’m not.”
“I call bullshit.”
“Seriously, Henna, this is why I didn’t tell you. You always make things so much bigger than they are.”
“I’m going to pretend that you didn’t just say that to me.” She narrows her gaze.
“I’m sorry. I’m just tired and I don’t want to do this with you.”
“Do what? Have a conversation with your best friend about a guy you’re very clearly into?”
“That’s exactly what Idon’twant to do.” I run my hands down my face. “Because if I do, if I let myself for even one moment entertain the idea that I could feel more, than I’m completely screwed.”
“Why are you screwed?”
“Because he’s still in love with his wife,” I tell her like it should be that obvious.
“He will always love his wife. But Peyton, that doesn’t mean he can’t love you too.”
“Maybe someone should tell him that,” I grumble, not sure where this is coming from. When I left Abel’s, I was on top of the world, now I feel irritable and frustrated.
“I hate to break it to you, girl, but whether you admit your feelings out loud or not, they’re still going to be there. Whatever you’re afraid of, it’s already too late.”
“Shit.” I plop my head backward onto the top of the couch cushion. “I tried to resist him, you know?” I straighten back up. “I knew it was a guaranteed broken heart, yet even then, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t.”
“Sometimes we meet people who make us lose sight of all reason. Trust me, I know that better than anyone.” She laughs.
“What should I do? If I tell him that I’m falling for him.” I throw her a menacing look to keep her from saying what I know she’s about to – that she was right. “If I tell him, it’ll scare him off for sure.”
“I agree, that might be a lot right out of the gate. My advice, give it some more time, really lay on that Peyton charm, and before he knows it, he’s going to love you too. If he doesn’t already.”
“He doesn’t,” I say, very certain of this fact.
But he took off his wedding ring.
There she is again, that stupid voice spreading her false hope through my heart like wildfire.
“Are you sure about that?” Henna questions.
