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“Yeah, I’m pretty sure.” I give her a knowing look.
And he told you to tell Henna.
“I mean, sometimes,” I hesitate. “Sometimes he looks at me and I feel like there’s no way he can’t feel it too. When we’re together it’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. It can’t be just me, can it?”
“Based on what I’ve witnessed between the two of you, I would say no, it isn’t just you. Even Aaron has made comments about the way Abel looks at you. If Aaron is noticing then you know it must be pretty obvious.”
“Claire said something to me at Sven’s. She said she could tell Abel cares about me.”
“See.” Henna leans forward and smacks my leg. “If she’s telling you then it must be true.”
“I just don’t wanna get my hopes up, ya know?”
“Honey, I hate to tell you that’s not going to prevent you from getting hurt. You opened yourself up to that the moment you let him in.” She gives me a sympathetic smile. “But life is unpredictable. Sometimes when we’re so sure something is going to go one way it does a complete one-eighty and darts in the other direction. This could be the best thing that ever happened to you. And unless you’re willing to ride it out, you may never even know it.”
“So you’re saying I should dive in.”
“Sink or swim, baby. That’s my motto.” She winks.
“Such wisdom,” I deadpan. Seconds later we both burst into laughter.
I didn’t realize how badly I’d needed this. How badly I’d needed to tell someone, to talk to someone. To air out my concerns and face what I’m too scared to face on my own.
While I don’t always agree with Henna’s logic, I have to say that this time she might be right. The only way to know how this will end is to have the want and courage to see it through.
I can’t imagine walking away from Abel now, especially not after last night. Falling asleep in his arms will go down in history as one of the best nights of my life.
So, I really don’t have a choice to make. I love him.There. I’m admitting it. I love him. And that’s all I can do. Love him and hope that one day he loves me back.
——
“What are you doingtwo weeks from today?” Abel asks, rubbing his hand up and down my shin as we sit facing each other, legs stretched out on the couch between us.
“Two weeks from today.” I try to figure the date in my head. “Two weeks from today I’ll actually be in New York.”
“You’re going to New York?” His hand stops moving. “Who are you going with?”
“My boss and another co-worker.”
“And how well do you know these people?”
“Pretty well, why?”
“Just asking.”
“Just asking?”
“I just want to make sure you’re safe.”
“I can promise you that I will be. I’ll be in good company.”
“That’s all I need to hear.” He resumes rubbing my leg, this time in a slow, circular motion.
“Speaking of New York, I could really use a ride to the airport Friday morning.”
“What time do you leave?”
“Four.” I drag my bottom lip through my teeth.
