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I’m on the verge of hyperventilating as I continue to read. He wrote about me? About us? The names are different, but every word, every line, is the story of our past. Woven so beautifully into words that bring everything he was thinking and feeling all those years ago to life.
It takes me about thirty minutes to get through the piece which spans our Junior year. By the time I’m finished, I’m not sure if I want to laugh or burst into tears.
He wrote about me...
I scroll further down the page, looking for more, but the story finishes at the end of the school year.
I quickly grab my phone and pull up Lulu’s number, desperate to know if there’s more.
It rings once before her voice comes on the line.
“Lu,” I choke, not sure what to say.
“I was so angry with you,” she starts, not giving me a chance to say anything. “But I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand. It wasn’t you who took Alec from me, it wasmewho took him fromyou.”
“Lu.”
“I should have seen it. I should have picked up on the signs. You loved him that whole time. You loved him, yet you stood by and let me have him. Why?”
I don’t know how she knows any of this, because the part I read only talked abouthisfeelings during that time, but I answer her honestly anyway.
“Because you loved him too.”
“Not like you did.” She sighs. “Hope, why didn’t you talk to me? Tell me how you were feeling.”
“I didn’t know how to,” I admit. “How do you tell your best friend that you’re in love with the same person that she is?”
“You waited until things were over between us and even then you denied yourself. You tried so hard to do right by me.”How does she know this?
“I did. But clearly I didn’t do a very good job.”
“You did better than most would’ve done.”
“Lu.”
“I’m not saying that I forgive you for what happened. You should have talked to me, been honest with me, but I think I understand now more than I did before.” She falls silent for a long moment. “There’s more.”
“More what?”
“More parts. He’s released four already and the fifth comes out tomorrow.”
“There’s more? I didn’t see anything else.”
“Search the title in the search bar. You’ll find them. You need to read them, Hope. All of them. I think maybe I’m not the only one who didn’t know the whole story.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The way he talks about you, Hope. It’s like you are the very thing that tethers him to the Earth. He loves you in a way that I only wish someone loved me. Read the other parts. You’ll understand what I mean.”
“I don’t know if I can. It’s too painful.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve stood in the way of your happiness for long enough. If Alec is who you want, you shouldn’t live another day without him.”
“I’m not going to do that to you.”
