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“Why not? I’d do it to you.”
“No you wouldn’t.”
“Hope, we both know that I would. Because I’m selfish. I’m not ashamed to admit that. And while yes, this hurts more than I care to admit, I’ll get over it. But you won’t. If you let him slip through your fingers, you’ll never forgive yourself and neither will I.”
“I can’t lose you, Lulu. You’re my best friend.”
“You’re not going to lose me. I won’t lie and say that everything will be like it used to be. The truth is, things will never be the same, but that’s already true. There’s no reason for both of us to be unhappy.”
“I’m so sorry, Lu. For everything.”
“Me too.” She sighs. “Please, for me, read the other parts. I promise that once you do, Alec will be the only person you want to talk to.”
“Okay, I will.”
“And when you’re finished, call him. Stop worrying about me and worry about yourself for once. I may be hurt by how everything went down, but that doesn’t mean I love you any less. But if all of this was for nothing? Well, what a shame that would be.”
“I love you, Lulu.”
“I love you too.” With that, the line goes dead.
I throw the device onto the counter and quickly turn back to my computer, searching the site for Alec’s other pieces. It takes me no time to find them, and once I do, I immediately dive into part two.
Much like part one, part two covers a piece of our past. The day of my graduation party. He talks about finding the letter, the kiss, everything he wanted in that moment.
The more I read, the more apparent it becomes of what Lulu was talking about. The way he talks about me... God, it’s almost more than I can take.
Part three nearly guts me. It’s about his trip to New York and our night together. I never realized how much I had hurt him by cutting him out of my life, but in reading his pain that comes through so vividly in his words, it takes guilt to an entirely new level.
Part four covers the time around Bella’s wedding. The argument with Lulu and his and my conversation on the front porch. His promise to wait. My reluctance to commit to a future. Again, I’m overcome with so much guilt I’m not sure what to do with any of it.
This whole time I’ve been worried about Lulu. Her feelings. Her heart. And in doing so, I broke Alec’s over and over again without realizing it.
I want to call him—apologize for everything—beg for his forgiveness, but I feel like I need to read the last part first. I feel like I need to know where he standsnowbefore I take that step.
It says the article will go live at ten a.m., so until then, I do what I’ve been doing for the last six years... I wait.
