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“Knew what?” I ask like I have no idea what he's talking about.
“That you felt it too.” He says, taking another step, the distance between us now just four short feet. “I realized pretty quickly that you had seen me with Cora. I also knew that you didn't understand what was happening so you were probably thinking the worst. When I saw you with Josh, I thought to myself, this must have been exactly how she felt.”
“I don't know what you think you know but you can do whatever you want with whomever you want. It's none of my concern.” I bite, making a move to walk past him only to be stopped when his hand wraps around my forearm and spins me to face him.
“Would you fucking stop?” His voice is a borderline yell and the way he's looking at me makes my knees wobble under the intensity. “Stop acting like you don't care. It's not going to change anything. I already see you.” He says, dropping my arm. “You're scared, I get it. You don't think I'm not terrified? Fuck!” He runs his hands through his hair in frustration.
“I've never done this before either. I've never cared for a girl beyond what she had to offer in the bedroom. I've never cared whether I hurt her feelings or what she thought of me. I spent time with any woman who would give me what I needed. But then you came along. At first, I thought I would just fuck you and get you out from under my skin but then it wasn't enough. I found myself thinking about you constantly. I was obsessed. I had to know where you were all the time, what you were doing. It drove me fucking insane not to be with you and for the first time in my life, someone told me no. That I couldn't have what I wanted more than anything else.”
“And so the chase began.” I speak the words I am thinking out loud with out actually meaning to.
“I told myself I just needed to prove that I could have you and then I would walk away but once again, I couldn't. You have completely submerged me into a world I don't understand. Into feelings I can't cope with. Each time I said this is the last time and yet, I could never follow through.” He pauses, taking a shaky breath.
“I tried giving you time. I know how you process things and I didn't want to push you away so instead of barging in here on Sunday night, I went home. I stayed away. I went to the club yesterday but you weren't there and then I found out you weren't going in tonight either and I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to see you.” He steps forward, reaching out for my hand which I allow him to take, still not grasping what is actually happening around me. “Don't shut me out. Tell me what you want from me. Anything. Say it and it's yours.” He pleads, taking my other hand.
Tears prick the back of my eyes but I manage to hold myself together. I take two deep breaths, not sure if I am even capable of speaking actual words at this point. “I can't do this Bentley. I'm sorry.” I say, trying to step away but his hands grip mine tightly, holding me in place. “I can't just wait around for the next Cora or who knows who else to come along. You're not capable of doing this and frankly, neither am I.”
“I have been sleeping with Cora on and off for two years.” He admits, apology lining his face.
“I really don't need to know that.” I shake my head.
“But you do. I told her Sunday that it was over. That's why I left with her. I needed to explain things to her and make sure she understood so she wouldn’t be a problem in the future. I ended things. With her and the others.”
“Others?” I gape at him in disbelief.
“I haven't slept with anyone since you. I haven't wanted to.” He admits.
“Is that supposed to make things different?” I ask, just wanting him to make his point already. He's holding back on me and I am determined to find out why.
“I meant what I said when I asked you to stay. I meant everything. I know you're scared. I know everything inside of you is telling you to run but I'm asking you not to. Take a chance. Give me a chance.” He pleads. “I'm breaking every rule I have ever made for myself. For you. Because you are worth it to me.”
“This isn't real Bentley. You say this all now but what happens in a month, two months, when you realize the mistake you've made. What then?” I ask, my voice breaking at the end.
“Loving you will never be a mistake.” He says, releasing my hands and taking my face in his palms. “Do you hear me? I love you. I have tried like hell to fight against this but I can't. I am in love with you Anna Blake.” He says, his eyes burning into mine.
I can't do anything but stare at him in utter silence, fearful that if I say anything I will melt into hysterics in his arms. Fear and elation swim together in a lethal combination. I can feel my breathing accelerate, feel the relentless pounding of my heart inside my chest and yet, no matter how scared I am, I also know that there is nothing I want more than to be with this man. To call him my own and for once, allow myself the chance to be happy. But putting that kind of faith in someone, especially a man like Bentley, will likely be a choice I will live to regret.
“I.....” I stumble out but he doesn't let me finish.
“Please.” His words take on a desperation that melts away every ounce of anger I have felt towards him over the last forty-eight hours. Knowing there is no way to walk away from the confession he just made, I lean forward and silence him with a soft kiss. Showing him everything he needs to know without actually having to say the words.
I do love him. I love him unlike anything I ever thought possible. I think I have known that for sometime now. But it is yet to be seen whether that love will destroy me or finally set me free.
